When I entered college, I knew that the years ahead of me would hold a ton of new experiences, I had no idea what to expect, but I definitely did not anticipate losing someone I graduated with. Tragedy has a way of surprising everyone, even when you have some idea that it may be coming. At my age, I knew to be prepared to lose older family members, the dog I grew up with, but I never thought to brace myself for losing a dear, high school friend. I know that I am not the first person to lose someone young, and I now wish I could have offered more than prayers and hugs to those that felt this before me. Those are just not enough, nothing can make the loss of someone your own age feel right, or okay.

We grew up together, from silly talent show acts in the fourth grade, to awkward middle school ugly phases and high school proms. The circumstances of my loss are different than others, I know, because for me, there was always a dark cloud of chance looming in the background of the big picture. Cancer is an ugly thing, but it never made her any less beautiful. No matter what, my friend pushed and persevered and took everything in stride; she was so strong. I think that that's what made the end so much harder. I genuinely thought that she would win this horrendous battle, and losing her was nothing I could prepare for. No matter how much time you have to try and get yourself ready to hear that kind of news, you will feel like the world is coming out from under your feet when you find out.

I'm sure that it is different for everyone, how you lose your person and what your relationship was can change, but there will always be a few similar things. You'll sit and curse the world and how unfair it is to take them so young, and ask yourself why them? You'll curse yourself for not making more of an effort to see them at the opportunities that you had, because suddenly all those other things you had to do seem irrelevant. You'd give it all up to see them one more time. You'll cry, or you'll scream, or maybe you won't do anything, because everyone copes differently. No matter what, I hope that at some point you pick yourself up after you've mourned and see that your lost loved one would want you to be strong. I'm trying to do that now. It is not easy, and I would never wish this feeling on anyone, but I've learned some things from it and for that I'm thankful.

Don't take anything for granted, especially people. Stop skipping out on the people that want to see you and if you want to see someone, tell them. Spend as much time having fun with everyone that you love, and appreciate them to the fullest degree, because you just never know. Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls at you when you're not ready, so make the most of the game before hand just in case. I never expected to experience this kind of loss in this chapter of my life, and I know that anyone else that has didn't either. Never be afraid to cry and be angry, because it is not fair, but take time to smile and think about all your good times, and don't forget to look up and acknowledge your new guardian angel.