After coming home from a long Monday from work, my mother broke the news that shook my world forever. My father died suddenly on Father's Day (June 19th, 2016) from a heart attack, the doctors did everything that they can do but it was too late. Hearing that broke my heart, I fell on my floor crying just beside myself. I talked to him that night (Sunday) calling him and wishing him a Happy Father's Day and he seemed like his happy self. Half of me was gone, one of the three people in my life that meant the most to me is gone. He isn’t a phone call away, I can’t hear his laugh that can light up every room, the Nantucket trips, amazing cooking, everything. The memories are still there but the person who made them aren’t. After telling work, they were right by my side through taking the time off I needed, to making sure I had my co-workers support as well, my OLCLC family was there to make sure I was okay, and that was the most wonderful feeling in the world. A few days went by and as I was working I was also planning the services (with the help of the family of course) from flowers, to where we were going to have the services.
As we got to the wake, (June 27th 2016) I walked in and saw a few familiar faces, and then I looked over to my left and saw my father and I was just in complete shocked, the endless love of our family and friends muted the thought of my father in the casket. Talking to everyone that was there was a great distraction from the pain of the actual event. The priest came in and said a couple of prayers and the emotions were running high for everyone.
Then came the funeral, that morning the immediate family (myself and my other family members) got to our final goodbyes, my brother and I walked to the casket together and just cried and our mother was right behind us. Then heading to our church were Cole and I were baptized made it feel so special to the family including our father. We got to the church and the casket was right in front of us. I was crying scared going to the church but my mom was right next to me trying to consoling me. The priest that performed the funeral was our priest from that church which made it very personable, and warm. As we sat in our pews, there wasn't a dry eye for the full service, and I couldn't stop crying. I read my eulogy in front of family and friends and it help lighten the mood, talking about the good times and the funny made it everything that happened all okay. After the funeral, myself, my brother, my mother, my aunt and uncle all went out to lunch and celebrated my fathers life like we should. Eating good food, and being around good people.
Losing my father or anyone close to you is one hard thing of life. Always keep the good memories alive and present, it has been a big part of my healing through this difficult time. Also working and keeping myself busy has been very helpful as well. I think about him 24/7/365 but everyday is a different day and some days are better than others.
The endless love he had for people, and how he used to talked loudly into everywhere he went to let everyone know he was coming was something I carry (THANKFULLY) and that I will cherish (even though my mom and brother were mortified LOL), the way we took car rides and he blast the music and he knew all of the current songs that are popular we used to jam to them, he loved old school rap (50 cent, biggie, and tupac were his favorites), his LARGER THAN LIFE personality, and his gentle soul, traveling together, and the gym. Also, the love he had for his wife (my mother) and myself and my brother was something so special.
Thank you for making my life so magical and for loving everyone around you. XX
Love you to the moon and back, it’s not a goodbye it’s a see ya later.