The list of things we take for granted in this life is endless, but one of the major things is our parents. It is so easy to get frustrated with our parents when we don't get our way or when they don't understand something because they have a different mindset as us, I'm guilty of this myself. But, you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

It is permanent and inexpressible.

Losing a parent isn’t easy no matter how old you are, but when you lose them when you’re so young (and they’re still young themselves) there are so many more challenges to pass through. They miss all the milestones: high school and college graduations, weddings, children, etc.

It's not the kind of sadness where you cry all the time. It overwhelms your whole body, leaving your heart aching and your stomach empty. It makes you feel weak and it strips you of all your energy leaving you exhausted. But you can't sleep because they're in your dreams. You can't escape the pain or sadness, but you can push through it... become stronger than you ever thought possible... and make something of the pain.. help others.

I lost my mom when I was 12 years old, the day before I was supposed to start the 7^th grade. I still remember every moment of that horrific day, and that was 7 and a half years ago. Going through my teenage years without my mom was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to endure. No matter how hard they try, there are some things that dads just can’t understand and can’t help with, and that’s okay. At the time, I wondered why. “Why my mom?” “I’m only 12, doesn’t God think I need my mom?” But the older I get, the more blessings have been brought to my attention that has come from this, one of those being that I love to encourage people because I've been through a lot, so I understand things that most kids my age shouldn't have to. Not much long after my mom passed, a girl from my church lost her father and that instantly gave us a connection that nobody else could understand. I was able to be there for her in a way that her other friends couldn’t. One of my closest friends lost his mom to cancer when he was 18 and I did everything I could to be there for him because I understood what he was going through and the pain I knew he was feeling, even when he wouldn’t admit it.

Does this make it any easier? No. It still hurts every time it crosses my mind (which is often). There is a hole in my heart that will never be filled and it is excruciating. I can’t even put into words the feeling of losing a parent and it never completely goes away, but that doesn’t mean we stop living.

It means we are strong because we survived.

Sometimes it's okay to not be okay. I try day in and day out to be strong for my dad and show him that I'm okay, even on the days I'm not. But, sometimes you have to let it all out. When things get hard, you with they were there to talk to you and comfort you. You wish you could tell them how much you need them. Every day is harder than they would be in they were here. It's hard no matter how strong you are.

I know that my mom wouldn’t want be walking around in a depression 24/7 when I could be doing all the things I love like hiking, going to concerts, writing, etc. So yes, it is and always will be hard, but you have to remember to enjoy the little things in life because otherwise, you will miss out on so many amazing things the world has to offer. There are so many adventures waiting, so don’t deny yourself the opportunity to be part of the beautiful things happening.

Losing a parent is hard, heart-wrenching, destructive, and a million other things and emotions (too many to mention in an article). You never stop missing them and they will cross your mind every single day because even the smallest things will remind you of them or a moment you shared with them. IBut at the end of the day, you're going to be okay. Find the light in your storm and use it to shine for others.