When I lost my Grandmama, my entire world shattered. Growing up, I have always been close with both sets of my grandparents, but I spent most of my days after school with my Grandmama and Granddaddy. Grandparents are like your parents and love you in the same unconditional way, except they're usually much more laid back and willing to spoil you than your parents are. Losing a grandparent is one of the hardest moments someone will ever go through and the loss never really leaves you.
Grandparents are typically known for spoiling their grandchildren and mine are no exception. My Grandmama always made sure that I had all the spaghetti-o's and beefaroni that I could possibly want. She made sure that "High School Musical" got taped so that I could watch my favorite movie over and over. Whenever I needed someone to babysit my kids (my baby dolls), I knew I could count on my grandmother. While I rode my bike and imagined all the cool places I was going, she sat on the front porch making sure I was safe. These little actions did not really click with me at the time as being important but looking back, all the little things she did mean the world to me.
When you lose a grandparent, whether you were given the chance to say goodbye or not, it seems like a little piece of you goes with them. There will always be a place in your heart that can't be filled again, no matter how hard you try. At first, the pain of losing your grandparent seems as if you'll drown in the grief you're feeling. Trying to find ways to cope seems impossible and you feel as if you'll never be truly happy again. As time goes by, the grief seems to ease a little and you try to get back to normal because you know that is what your grandparent would want you to do. You slowly start to heal and find a way to live your life without your grandparent in it, but in the back of your mind you never forget. The date of their birthday, holidays and the day of their passing take on a whole new meaning for you and those certain days are always a little harder than others, no matter how much time passes.
The loss of someone so dear to your heart is life-changing. The pain will always stay with you but over time it will lessen and become bearable. For me, I have hope for I know I will be seeing my sweet Grandmama again one day in heaven. While my time left on Earth will always be a little less bright without her in it, I know that she would want me to live my life to the fullest. I am thankful for the time I was given with my Grandmama and I will always remember our memories with nothing but joy and love. While losing her was the hardest time of my life, loving her was by far the easiest.
