Losing a Loved One Close to the Holidays

Losing a Loved One Close to the Holidays

"The air feels colder going into your lungs and the sun doesn't shine as bright as it used to."
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Nothing is ever the same, losing a loved one. The air feels colder going into your lungs and the sun doesn't shine as bright as it used to. The snow falls slower, calming the world to a constant moment of silence for your loss. It's almost as if you are in a snow globe; everything around you is constantly moving while you are stuck in position.

The holidays aren't as magical as they were. It's almost as if they shouldn't happen at all if they aren't there to bring that joy. The other members of the family put on a brave face and still try to continue the traditions that your loved ones set, but everyone knows that they will never be the same.

I lost my aunt on December 6th, the woman who basically was my mother. Even though we all knew it was coming, it was still so sudden. A part of me knows that continuing celebrating with my family and just being there as the rock is what she would want, but I just can't.

I will never wake up to the smell of ham cooking in the kitchen at 8:00 a.m. again. I will never hear her yell my name to get her the pot or pan that she needed, and pulling down every single one until she decided that none of them would work anyways and to try the other cabinet. No more homemade "nuts and bolts", as she liked to call her trail mix. It was always our favorite holiday treat that we made together while talking about how my little brother needs to clean his room.

Her smile was one that could light up any room and make the saddest person happy. I can still hear her laugh at me for not knowing the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon. There will be no more decorations like her decorations. No more new handmade scarves or ornaments that we were all so proud of.

The one person that kept my family together, the glue, was gone and we are all feeling the emptiness.

Aunt Linda, you were always the best part of me. The woman I wanted to grow up to be. I feel you with me everyday and know I'm doing the best to make you proud. I know I should be strong and not cry but I'm hurting. You were one of the only reasons I came home for the holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, and every other holiday will never be the same without your bright and kind spirit to keep us all happy.

If I could ask any favor of my readers; tell your family you love them. I don't care what the circumstance is hug them, kiss their cheeks, and let them know you care about them. In the blink of an eye, a phone call, an instant they could be gone and you'd never get that chance. Spend your holidays spreading love and cheer with them and cherish every moment.


Cover Image Credit: Three Spires

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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What It Is Really Like Having Sisters Close To Your Age

While having siblings close to your age is pretty amazing, there can be a lot of issues that can come with it.

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I come from a family of 5 people and 1 dog. I have 2 sisters, Grace and Caroline. We are all pretty close in age, Caroline being the youngest and 3 years younger than me.

My sisters and I share a bond like no one else, no one can replicate it. When you have siblings close to your age you have built-in best friends, and since they are around your age you have the same interest, or at least, enough so that you can do things that other siblings cannot. Examples of this would be seeing R-Rated movies and going to the mall without too much complaining, along with being able to shop in the same stores or even share clothes. Grace and I sometimes even split the cost of a shirt we both like.

We even overlap friend groups! Which is not much of a problem for us, Grace and I are both in music programs which overlap enough for us to have the same friends, which is great for when one of us has a sleepover, the other can join in on the fun. Caroline, however, even though she is seen as the sporty one of the 3 of us, she still has a lot of friends who have similar interests as Grace or I, giving us a lot of the same friends. It's nice not to be considered the "cool older sister", I am just like the rest of them.

While we do fight a lot, we make up really quickly, because most issues we have are stupid sibling fights: who gets the T.V., what to have for dinner, what movie to see. But it is always fun because there are 3 of us, which means majority rules, something we tend to go by most of the time depending on the situation.

Having 3 teenagers in the house can be a handful for our parents though, when you have three teenage girls going through puberty at relatively the same time, it can be grueling, especially when you are all on your period at the same time.. (yes, that has happened before) (and yes, it sucks). While I am on the topic, let's say a prayer and a thank you to my dad for dealing with 5 girls (including the dog, obviously) because he does a pretty damn good job at dealing with all of us.

When we were younger, we always had a play date even when one was canceled. We all made up songs and dances and would perform them for our parents. We even had a band called The Halsey Sisters (AKA the female version of The Jonas Brothers) where we had a hit song called "We Got The Heart and Soul". It was a hell of a time. Let's just say the music video for that song is, interesting to say the least.

At the end of the day, I wouldn't switch my sisters for anything in the world, they are my rocks, and I wouldn't want it any other way, Grace, Caroline, keep doing what you're doing, because you're pretty damn awesome.

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