Growing up I was always so excited to visit my grandparents. Even though they lived hours away it was always worth the long drive just to see my grandma's smile when I walked in the front door. She had the biggest hugs for a 4'10'' tall women.
The first thing she always asked my brother and I was if we wanted a homemade chocolate chip cookie which, by my cousins and I, was called a "grandma cookie". They were also my favorite cookies. Grandma never let me leave her house hungry. She always had food that she offered us at our Sunday dinners. Every Sunday, Grandma and Grandpa had family over, even if it was four of us or thirty four of us. She did not care, she just wanted the family all together.
Grandparents are always suppose to see their grandchildren's milestones: your first steps, kindergarten, sporting events, and graduating from high school. I hoped they would be there to see me graduate college, getting the job of my dreams, getting married, and maybe even meeting their great-grandchildren. But sometimes life does not go the way that everyone expected it to go. There will be curve balls and there will be events that nobody was ready to face yet.
Soon, they were getting older and getting weaker. They were moved into nursing homes and were taken care of by caretakers. Visiting them was totally different. It was not the same loving home that was once theirs. The nursing homes always had a weird smell to it and had the oddest-tasting food but I did not care, all I wanted to do was visit my grandparents.
After they were in there for a while they started to change. The happy and loving smile that I looked forward to walking into their room soon turned into a painful and tired smirk. Saying goodbye to my grandparents was probably the hardest thing I have to done in my life. My grandpa passed away before I was in high school. Then years later in my senior year, I had to say goodbye to one of the strongest women in my life, my grandmother.
At the funeral, my whole family was crying and hugging, but to me it still did not register that they were gone forever. Days later, it finally hit me like a brick wall that I will never be able to call them or visit them again. Soon I felt empty for the next couple months because the person that was always there for me to call and talk to on the phone was no longer on the other side of the phone anymore. I wished I spent more time with them and talked to them about the future because I assumed that they would be living to see it. I wished they saw me graduate high school, my volleyball games in college, the achievements that my cousins and I have accomplished. I just love to replay the memories we had and all the laughs and jokes that were said while sitting around the dinner table with the whole family. Everyday I think of them more and more, wondering if they can look down on me and hoping that they are proud of the person I have become.
Losing my grandparents too early is one of the hardest obstacles I have had to overcome. The one thing that helps me get through the day is remembering the good times that we had together. My grandparents might not physically be here but they will always have a special place in my heart.
