When you graduate from high school, everyone tells you that if you’re going to college, you’re about to experience the best four years of your life. It can make you feel a lot of pressure to make the next four years full of great experiences.
This isn’t too hard at first, since you start meeting friends and going to events aimed at showing freshmen a great time. But then the years roll on.
As you continue through college, you might notice that you’re losing friends.
Sure, you’re making new ones whenever a new semester starts, you join a club or start a job, but the loss of a friend can be just as powerful as the joy you gain from making a new one. It can make you question if you did anything to make them walk away, or you might think about the friendship and wonder what went wrong.
The good news is that you’re not alone. Many people find themselves losing friends during college and it’s always for different reasons. Don’t start blaming yourself or pointing any fingers.
Instead, read up on some of the reasons you can lose a lot of friends in college and then try to feel cheered up.
Not all friends are meant to stick around forever, but you got to have some good times while the friendships lasted.
1. People are changing
Whether you’ve heard it from friends, family members or college staff, you probably already know that college is meant to not only educate you to be book smart, but also to help you learn more about yourself.
This means you and your friends are going to have a lot of personal growth, which may lead to some friendships not working out. That’s okay!
Let your friends do what they need to do to continue on their life journey and try to keep looking ahead to continue on your own.
2. Being social is less important
The later years of college are all about finding internships and jobs that will propel you into your post-college career.
People become more serious about who they spend their time with because, when these jobs begin, you’ll find you have less free time overall.
A recent study found that in the mid- and late-twenties, people focus more on their inner circle. This might mean their boss, their family or their potential spouse. Give them some time to focus on what they need — and try not to take it personally.
3. There might be an age gap
Not all college students are the same age, so your older friends might be dealing with things you don’t have to face yet. All the things life throws at you in your mid-twenties is why 25 is the worst age for friendships.
Older friends might not want to party anymore or eat junk food as much, creating unintentional disturbances in friendships. If this happened with one of your friends, just know that it’s normal. In time, you’ll experience it too.
4. Friends might move
Everyone has a different college experience. For some, that means they’ll have to jump between schools a couple times to find the right one for them.
This can break off friendships even if you’re connected on social media, so do what you can to encourage them and be happy for them when they find a school that feels like home.
5. You learn to spot toxic relationships
You may have had to walk away from a number of friendships since you started school, but that’s actually a good thing! As you get older, it’s easy to be able to spot warning signs in toxic friends.
This will save you so much heartbreak and anxiety. If you think it’s best to stop being friends with someone, do what you think is best for your mental and emotional health and don’t let them persuade you otherwise.
6. Schedules are always changing
Sometimes the end of a friendship comes down to something as simple as your class schedule.
This changes roughly every four to five months for college students, and if you’re suddenly faced with an intensive course, you won’t have time for anything other than school work.
You might end a semester and find that you’ve lost friends, but if they didn’t support you through challenging times, they probably weren’t friends worth keeping anyway.
Lots of people lose friends during college and the reason is different for each person. Sometimes it’s one-sided and sometimes it’s both people just being guided down different paths in life.
Try not to take any of it personally and just cherish the time you have with friends right now.
Your true friends will stick with you no matter what life has to offer, so don’t sweat losing people who were only meant to be with you for a short while.
