It’s no secret that this generation’s definition of love is closer to “Netflix and Chill” than the love we see in “The Notebook”- if that kind of love even exists anymore.

I’ve been surrounded by a group of friends who push me to date for pretty much all of high school and college, but they seem to be shocked when I tell them that I’m not looking for love and I’m NOT going to actively hunt for it.

Personally, I’m of the opinion that I will fall in love when it’s time and when I’m ready. I know I’m probably not going to find the love of my life in a club or at a party- at least not at this age. I’m in my 20’s and as much as I would like to say I have my life together-I don’t.

I know a lot of people who are ready to settle down and do the marriage thing; I just happen to not be one of them. I think your 20’s are your years to be selfish. Your years to find out exactly who you are and figure out who you want to be. Your 20’s are your years to travel without checking with anyone first, your years to hang out with your friends and do the things you want to do.

So many girls my age are in this rush to find “The One;” some of them are in such a rush that they’re actively trying to find him. I don’t think Mr. Right will come if I’m seeking him out constantly. I think we’re all much more likely to find the guy we’re supposed to be with if we invest our time in doing things that make us happy. We should dress for ourselves, do our makeup because we WANT to, talk about things that actually interest us, and do literally whatever we want to-just because we can.

Lately, it seems to be a race down the aisle with a lot of the girls I know, and I get it- being married does have some appeal, but personally I would like to be able to say I had myself figured out before I let someone else in on the mess that is my life. I know that it’s nice to have someone to share things with, but sometimes all you really need is a late night talk with your mom to help you figure things out.

We all have a lot of love to give, and I know that we all want to share that love with someone, but we have so many people who deserve it at this stage of our lives. Share your love with your friends and your family and one day someone will come into your life who deserves that love forever- and you won’t have to hunt for them.