In life, we are all going at such a fast pace that we do not take the time to appreciate what is in front of us. The other day, I stumbled on an article from Bustle that had an activity where you would look at your significant other for a minute without touching, or talking. It said some people can do the full minute and others can’t and my inner Barney from How I Met Your Mother instantly thought, “Challenge Accepted.” So later in the week, I told my boyfriend about it and he kind of laughed at first but then agreed to it.
I pulled out my phone to have the timer going and the minute begun. At first, it was kind of awkward and we giggled a couple of times. We did have to stop a couple of times because he tried to kiss me, but I was determined that we could do it. After 15 seconds, I took it more seriously. My mind began to wonder and I thought of different things.
I noticed the specks of green in his bluish eyes. The scar he got on his upper cheek from an incident with his little brother. The light brown freckles scattered across his face and the dilation of his pupils because I know they do that when he is looking at me.
I learned that he is patient and willing to do something that he might not really want to, just to make me happy, like this exercise! I think about how in relationships it is about give and take and for us, we are always talking about “equal partnership” and we both mean it. Yes, I pay for some of his food too.
I learned that I can actually be cherished by someone. The way he looks at me, it took me a while to see and other people would point it out, but the minute I saw it, made me super happy. Now when I look at him, I go back to the first time he looked at me that way. Where I was one of the more important people in his life. Just like he is one of the more important people in my life.
I learned that silence can speak so many words. Sometimes just looking at another person, connecting them does not require words. I am one to believe in souls and soulmates and all that gushy stuff so doing this activity really made me for good because I totally support the whole, “eyes are the door to the soul.”
I do not know what he learned while looking at me, or even if he did learn anything, but I am glad he did this with me.