Not being able to drive five minutes to see them when you need a shoulder to cry on. Not being able to sit and mindlessly watch Netflix for hours straight. Not being able to get food with them whenever you want. Not being able to spend all your time with them, even if that means doing absolutely nothing. Just simply not being able to be with them.
Long distance friendships.
Yeah, they're hard too.
The transition from high school to college is nothing short of a difficult one. You go from being surrounded by the same people you've grown up with to being in a whole new world. You go from complete familiarity to utter unknown. My biggest fear in this transition was losing my high school friends, my "home friends" as we've taken to calling them at school. I didn't want to lose the friendships I had spent my whole life building. As I was introduced to a whole new world of people at college, I began to make new, great relationships. But regardless of my new world, my home friends managed to stay my best friends. So, here are some tips for upcoming and current college goers who hold the same fear as I do: losing your childhood best friends.
1. FaceTime.
FaceTime is one of the best things I've discovered in college. Not only is it a quick way of getting a response, as I know I am guilty of not responding to texts for hours (and sometimes even days), but it's also a great way to keep in touch. I FaceTime my home friends all the time – when I'm walking to class alone and want someone to talk to, when I can't decide what to wear out, when I'm stressed and binge-eating pizza. FaceTime helps you stay connected with people in a much deeper way than just texting does.
2. Update them.
Nothing sucks more than hearing exciting news about your friends indirectly. Even though you might tell the people around you first about things going on in your life, don't forget to shoot a text to your home friends. Frequently updating your friends on your life will help them feel like they are right there experiencing it beside you.
3. Visits.
Although this is not realistic for all situations, as some people go to school across the country, visiting your friends is so important. Even if that means taking a weekend off from your new, exciting life at school to drive up to visit a home friend – everyone should at least make the effort to visit their friends at college. I took a twelve-hour bus to visit my best friend at college and although being on a bus for half of a day was exhausting, being able to spend a weekend with her was completely worth it.
4. Remind them how they are still your best friends.
It is so easy to feel replaced. When you're constantly posting pictures and Snapchats with your new friends, it's easy for your home friends to feel like you are replacing them. So remind them how much you love them and how no one can replace them. Remind them how they are still your best friends, even if you don't see them nearly as often as you used to.
5. Spend time with them when you're actually home.
For those short couple of weeks of the school year that we get to spend at home, hang out with your home friends. When I went home for three weeks during winter break, I spent a lot of my time sleeping – or rather catching up on lost sleep from the semester. But my biggest regret once I got back to school for the second semester was not spending enough time with my home friends when I was home. So, no matter how hard you have to fight to wake up earlier than 1 p.m., make time to see your home friends. Even if that means just mindlessly watching Netflix for hours, nothing beats just simply spending time with your friends.
I know it is easy to get caught up in the new world of college – the world of discovering unknowns, of meeting new people, of finding yourself. It is easy to meet great people who quickly become your best friends and make that transition from high school to college a little bit easier. But, if I have learned one thing in my short time at college, it is that no one can replace your home friends. No one can replace the people who stood by you when you had your first heartbreak, or helped you when you were fighting with your parents or held your hand when you didn't make varsity soccer. No one can replace the people who remained your friends throughout your childhood, even when you had purple braces and experimented with hair dye. No one can replace the people who helped you become the person you are today. Simply, no one can replace your home friends.
