During the last months, many of my friends asked me how I do that: being engaged while my fiancé lives on the other side of the globe. For almost a year it has been exactly 7,069km between Germany and Illinois, and still, I cannot say that we’re unhappy. Sure, long distance relationships are tough. However, if you know about those few tips how to make it work it will become so much easier.
1. Know your limit
While long distance relationships do work, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. You two need to ask yourselves questions like: “What do we want to achieve together?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about our future?” Have a goal in mind and be sure to make a plan with each other. So that even if you’re not living in the same time zone at the moment, both of you are working in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.
2. Use the time you have for new hobbies
Only because you cannot do those things together doesn’t mean that you cannot do them at all. On the contrary! Staying busy will help you to keep your mind off missing each other. New hobbies give you not only the opportunity to connect with people and acquire new skills, it will also make you a better, happier partner in the long run. So go learn that second language, participate in that cooking class or train for that half marathon!
3. Set up long distance dates
Set specific dates and times for skype and video calls. Use that quality time for long conversations or to have dinner together. You can also watch the same movie that you start at the same time or take ‘a walk’ together on the phone. Make sure this time is entirely reserved for your second half.
4. Make your mailboxes happy
Texts and messages are great. But nothing gives more joy than a letter or a card in the mailbox. You don’t have to be a great writer in order to put down a few words for the one you miss. Believe me, they will truly appreciate that little, dear note. Or flowers.
5. Know each other’s schedules
Make sure to know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each other’s life. Show your support through making a call or dropping a text before or after exams, important business meetings or job interviews. Believe me, I know things get tricky when both of you live in different time zones, but your effort will be truly appreciated!
6. Don’t forget the random, happy stuff
You just had the best ice cream ever? Or you saw the cutest puppy on the subway? Make sure to send a quick picture or text. Those mundane details will help you maintain a sense of normalcy and closeness. And will make you smile throughout the day!
7. Think about gifting a personal object
We often attach meaning to the little things and items in our lives. Have you thought about giving your S.O. a little gift to hold on to? Maybe a handwritten letter, a framed photograph or a bottle of fragrance?
8. Think outside the box
There are many ways to interact and feel close to each other. Especially with social media, it’s getting so much easier to stay in touch on a constant basis. Whether it’s tagging each other in funny Instagram photos, watching a Netflix show at the same time, reading the same book or playing an online-game, doing similar things will give you common topics to talk about.
9. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family
We cannot deny it, family and friends are important parts of our life and have a great impact on our well-being. Make sure to update your S.O. on whatever there is going on with your friends and family. Share beautiful stories, funny pictures, and exciting news.
10. Stay positive
Being sad and missing your second half is for sure not the easiest thing. However, there is so much more to be grateful for! Be thankful that you have someone to love who loves you back. Be thankful for the opportunities you have every day - for the challenges you can set for yourself, for the true friendships you have in your life. Be thankful for the little things, for a letter that arrived in your mailbox or for a long phone call.
Nobody said it is going to be easy. However, with both of you working towards the same goal, the extra distance can make the simplest things the sweetest. Long distance relationships may be tough but they have their own surprises too. And then comes the day when both of you find back to each other and it’s going to be the end of different time zones. For me it’s going to be the moment by the time this article is published. I cannot wait!
