I'm Moving Away From My Boyfriend But That Doesn't Mean We're Breaking Up

I'm Moving Away From My Boyfriend But That Doesn't Mean We're Breaking Up

Long distance or down the street, we're staying together.

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Back in September, I applied and got accepted into the Disney College Program. This means I'll be away from my home state for four months, maybe six and a half if I apply and get accepted to extend my program. Being gone, I'm not only leaving my friends and family, but I'm leaving my boyfriend too.

A ton of people have asked me if we're going to break up and to set the record straight, the answer is NO.

Why would we even think about breaking up? It's only four months, and that's nothing. I blinked and we were already dating for four months. It's going to go by super quick.

On top of that, he supports me going and was beyond happy for me that I was accepted on the first try—not to brag or anything)! He wants me to go, not because he wants time apart, but because he knows that it's an amazing opportunity for me. He reminds me every time the Disney College Program comes up.

We both know that we're still going to talk to each other every day, or almost every day depending on my schedule. But we're both adults and can send a quick message to each other so that we know we aren't ignoring or forgetting about one another.

I think that a lot of long distance relationships don't work because of all this fake stuff people watch in movies and on TV—like no one is going to miss the most important business meeting of their life to have brunch with you...

One thing that I've noticed about people moving away and being in a relationship, is that they don't communicate. They don't communicate their worries and fears BEFORE they move, they don't do it during the move and if they are coming back soon they don't do it AFTER unless it's in a fight.

The thing about my boyfriend and I is that we've talked about what's going to happen when I have a crazy crazy schedule and it doesn't line up with his already busy schedule. We've talked about what's gonna happened when I leave and when I come back. We've talked about thing plenty of times and I think that we've for the most figured it out.

The other thing that I noticed with people going into long distance relationships is that they expect way too much and too many unrealistic things, and I think a lot of this comes from what is shown to us through social media.

I don't expect my boyfriend to jump on a plane every other weekend to come see me, and he doesn't expect that I do the same. We don't expect to have regular conversations like we do now, we both know that we might get a short window of opportunity to talk to each other depending on our schedules. We both know that it's going to be hours and hours before one of us replies to a text message. I don't expect him to send me a million and one packages. I don't expect him to drop everything to have a 10-minute phone call with me, and vice versa.

There are too many expectations and not enough communication, and I think that this is a huge problem when entering a long distance relationship. It's probably the reason so many people have asked me if we're breaking up or not. Yeah, it's going to be tough being away from each other, but we wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't worth it.

Oh and for the record for everyone who's asked me about us breaking up, even if something were to happen, guess what? We've already talked about it.

This is an opportunity not only for me but for him too and us together. So, yes, we're staying together but it's not like that was anyone's business anyway.

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Working With People Who Are Dying Teaches You So Much About How To Live

Spending time with hospice patients taught me about the art of dying.

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Death is a difficult subject.

It is addressed differently across cultures, lifestyles, and religions, and it can be difficult to find the right words to say when in the company of someone who is dying. I have spent a lot of time working with hospice patients, and I bore witness to the varying degrees of memory loss and cognitive decline that accompany aging and disease.

The patients I worked with had diverse stories and interests, and although we might have had some trouble understanding each other, we found ways to communicate that transcended any typical conversation.

I especially learned a lot from patients severely affected by dementia.

They spoke in riddles, but their emotions were clearly communicated through their facial expressions and general demeanor, which told a story all on their own.

We would connect through smiles and short phrases, yes or no questions, but more often than not, their minds were in another place. Some patients would repeat the details of the same event, over and over, with varying levels of detail each time.

Others would revert to a child-like state, wondering about their parents, about school, and about family and friends they hadn't seen in a long time.

I often wondered why their minds chose to wander to a certain event or time period and leave them stranded there before the end of their life. Was an emotionally salient event reinforcing itself in their memories?

Was their subconscious trying to reconnect with people from their past? All I could do was agree and follow their lead because the last thing I wanted to do was break their pleasant memory.

I felt honored to be able to spend time with them, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was intruding on their final moments, moments that might be better spent with family and loved ones. I didn't know them in their life, so I wondered how they benefited from my presence in their death.

However, after learning that several of the patients I visited didn't have anyone to come to see them, I began to cherish every moment spent, whether it was in laughter or in tears. Several of the patients never remembered me. Each week, I was a new person, and each week they had a different variation of the same story that they needed to tell me.

In a way, it might have made it easier to start fresh every week rather than to grow attached to a person they would soon leave.

Usually, the stories were light-hearted.

They were reliving a memory or experiencing life again as if it were the first time, but as the end draws nearer, a drastic shift in mood and demeanor is evident.

A patient who was once friendly and jolly can quickly become quiet, reflective, and despondent. I've seen patients break down and cry, not because of their current situation, but because they were mourning old ones. These times taught me a lot about how to be just what that person needs towards the end of their life.

I didn't need to understand why they were upset or what they wanted to say.

The somber tone and tired eyes let me know that what they had to say was important and worth hearing. What mattered most is that someone who cared was there to hear it.

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What, In My Opinion, Guys Really Want In A Girl

It may not be as simple as you think.

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I've recently started "watching" this show with my wife called "Paradise Hotel" or something like that. I think it's on Fox. It's pretty much a competition to see who can make it as a "couple" the longest or till the end to win a ton of money. It's a reality show that is filled with drama and hot bodies and more drama. I watch this show because, honestly I kind of like the drama, and my wife watches it so what the heck.

We were watching it the other day and there was an opportunity for two more girls to be put on the show. As the other guys asked questions and got to know these potential women, I told my wife which girl they guys would pick. She picked the others over the one I said, because of their "bodies." However, the girl I picked was the one whom the guys picked. My wife looked at me and said "How did you do that?"

Here's the deal: Guys have been SO poorly shown to be all about certain looks and nothing else. And this simply isn't true.

I should put a disclaimer here: I'm referring to "guys" as (mostly) mature men who are into dating and have their crap together. This doesn't include boys who just want their 2 minutes of relief and are just aimlessly guiding through life.

Okay so yes, A LOT of what guys look for is looks. I can't sugar-coat that or lie about it. No guy I know will date a girl whom he doesn't find attractive. That doesn't mean that if one guy doesn't go for a certain lady, that she is ugly or whatever. It means that one guy doesn't find her attractive, but plenty others might! To each their own.

So yes, looks are important and a must. But there are so many more attributes that are important:

These could be a fun and outgoing personality, a sense of humor, confidence in your looks and self-identify, and some maturity. I know guys can be really really immature, but there are a lot of girls out their with women's bodies and a child's mind.

We also love a girl who respects herself. And understands what a man needs. Men do need respect. It's something that we crave and have to have. Women should be respected as well. I'm not advocating that respect is a one-way street. But having a girl who admires and respects who we are (once we earn their trust) is just a necessity.

Another couple things that are a must for guys is to not be freaking psycho. I know all women (and people for that matter) have their emotional outbursts. I don't think I'm being sexist to say that women, in general, might be more emotional people than men because of hormones and stuff... although I've seen plenty of men who need to stop being such wimps. But psycho and loud women just get on our last nerves.

Maybe I didn't answer any of your questions, but maybe this gave you a bit of an idea of what we want and look for in the women we want to date and eventually settle down for life with.

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