I have always been alone, or at least, I feel that way often. However, something strange had happened: I got friends.

This sounds like such a stupid concept, but for someone who felt like the world was against them, it’s my existence. You probably never think about what it would be like if you never had friends, and you probably will never have to experience it.

So let’s venture to when I felt alone most: when I moved to the town I’ve lived in for roughly ten years now. When you move to a new city while still in school, there are two ways that your life can go. Either you’ll become popular because you’re the new kid and everyone wants to be your friend, or, the way my life went, you will be ostracized because no one intends to take the time to know the new kid. To put this into perspective, for years after moving to this new school a group of girls called me TUKWNIF (tʌk wɪn ɪf) which stands for That Unusual Kid Whose Name I Forgot… yes, they called me that. To my face.

Stuff like this continued well into high school and by about senior year, I started to see what it meant to have friends. I was invited to go to events, and I even got elected Homecoming King! This was such a change from my normal drab life and I was forever grateful; however, it still didn’t feel right. I felt like they had me around to fill space and we weren’t that close; now this is probably not true, but I was used to people just not wanting me around.

Now that I am in college, the real world, things have changed so much. I have a solid group of friends whom I believe are a lot like my family. They are there to support and love me, especially when I need a hand in my spiritual life. These friends will be with me forever, and I am so glad that they are in my life. When you live a life like I have, it's hard ever to realize that a solid support group is a possibility; I still second guess if they want me around or not.

If you ask my mother, she will tell you I constantly tell her about how I feel like I don’t know that many people willing to hang out. She’ll inform you that I lied because I can’t go anywhere without seeing someone I know. That isn’t the same sadly, because most of those people just know my name and face and recognize I exist, which in early years was still rare.

I am writing this not to praise the friends that I have, though I appreciate and love you guys so much! I write this to give hope to those loners, those people who can stand in a crowded room and still feel like they are alone in the world. Please, carry on! The cliche that things get better after high school is a lie because you need to work hard for that change, but people will come to help lessen that load, and when they come you will be pleased to know that they aren’t going to leave when it's hard. Keep strong and carry on fellow loners because all roads end, even the overpowering highway.