People are meant to spend time with other people. Human interaction and relationships are necessary for personal and social development. We weren’t meant to live this life on our own, and sometimes we become so close with people that we don’t think we could ever go through life without them. Boys we think we love and our best friends are people we even tell this to. We tell them that we can’t imagine life without them or that we can’t live without them, because they are so important to us. The fact is that this isn’t the way to express our love, because it isn’t true. At that moment, we may not be able to imagine a life without that very important person, but the truth is: you can live without them.
People usually leave our lives because of a conflict or a hurt. When it is someone you love and trust that causes the hurt, it is even more painful. It hurts so badly, because you cared deeply for that person. I know because I experienced this all first hand.
The summer before my freshman year of high school, I fell in love for the first time. It was with a boy I had known for a few years from school and had just been friends with. We started to spend more time together, and I realized I cared for him very deeply. Just as I was beginning to think I wanted a relationship, he told me he was moving. I was crushed, because I had been falling in love with him. We continued an unhealthy on-again-off-again relationship even after he moved. I fell in love with the memory of him and couldn’t imagine how I could go through life without him in it. It truly scared me to think of a future without him. After a few years of being unhappy, I knew what I needed to do. I stopped replying when he texted or called, and I deleted him off all social media. In the beginning, I felt like I was going to die. Every day without him hurt so badly. I was so heartbroken, but I knew it was for the best. After a few months, I hadn’t heard from him at all, and I was becoming happier every day.
The day before I left for college, he texted me, wanting to know if we could keep in contact during school. I told him I was starting a new chapter in my life and I was doing just fine without him, so I wanted him to delete my number because I had already deleted his.
I look back at this now and can’t believe how naïve I was. My life is so much better without that negative relationship. While you are in the middle of something and your feelings are so strong, you don’t realize how strong you are. Part of you becomes smaller to make room for the love you have for another person. This clouds your thoughts about your worth and future. Unfortunately, I believe it takes some hurt and pain to take the love you had for that person and give it all back to yourself. Then, it is like the fog has been lifted. You see how strong and independent you are. This allows you to live without that person you thought you couldn’t. It isn’t easy, and it hurts a lot, but you will love someone else again; yourself.
