Every child wants to have two parents. Whether it be a mom and a dad, a dad and a dad or a mom and a mom, having two parents is something everyone desires to have. But some people, including me, do not know what that feels like. My father is alive, he did not die in a tragic accident, I wasn’t born without him - but his existence means nothing to me. Ever since I was able to speak I don’t remember ever calling him "Dad."
I always find myself questioning. Questioning how life would be if he wasn’t this messed up man living with us because he has no place to go. Would I be different? Would I be like everyone else? To me growing up with a man like that made me stronger. I don’t depend on anyone, ever. I guess that’s one thing I can thank him for. Thanks for making me so strong and aware of how messed up someone can be. Thanks for that much.
Now of course, because I don’t have a father, my mother means the world to me. Not only did she raise me and my sisters on her own, she spent every day with my grandparents who were not in the best place at the time. She never takes care of herself and always puts everyone else first. Living with my perfect mother and my worthless dad changed me. I grew up with two opposite people and was given the choice of who I wanted to be like. A perfect being or a violent mess.
I used to be upset with not having a "nice" father. Every Father’s Day I would spend time scrolling through Instagram and looking at girls post pictures of them and "daddy" - but there I was doing nothing. A few years ago me and a close friend bonded over not having fathers. Learning that someone else experienced a similar issue changed me. We even watch TV shows about parents.
Now I thank God every day for giving me this messed up father figure because it makes my story different. I’m not like every girl who needs their dad to buy them a new car, or new shoes. I don’t need him to do anything for me. To me growing up with only a mother is perfectly fine. No I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to grow up with a good father. What I am saying is for anyone out there being abused or mentally hurt by a parent - just know it gets better.
Growing up with one parent will change you. Eventually you will realize that it does get better; that not being like "normal" people makes your story interesting. It makes you different. Just because you don’t have two parents, or maybe no parents at all, doesn’t mean you are less significant than any other human. All it means is you are going to have to realize that you don’t have to be like everyone else. To me growing up with one parent made me who I am. It made me aware of how people truly are behind their fake masks. It made me strong. It made my story interesting to hear.
