Growing up, I always knew I lived a little differently than the rest of my friends. My friends' parents would come and sit together at every student-parent meeting, choir concerts, and walk them to the first day of school together hand in hand. As I grew older, I came to realize and learn that the way I was living was correct for my situation. I was living with divorced parents. With having divorced parents, there are many good qualities that come from this but also some unfavorable things as well. This is the way I have been living for 17 years and it has shaped me into the person I am today.
People think it is hard to live with parents that aren’t together. I will say, yes, it has its challenges, but I don’t have memories of my parents being together. They got divorced when I was just three years old. This has made it easier for me in the sense that I wasn’t older so I really didn’t know what was happening. It was hard not growing up with the standard family life. I didn’t live in a house with my mom and dad together, I had two separate houses. I also didn’t just have my parents watching me. I had both of my aunts, grandmother, and grandfather that all played a part in helping me grow up into the person I am today. I could spend so much time with my extended family because of the fact my parents had joint custody. What this means is that half of the week I would live with one parent and then the rest of the week with the other.
I would live week days with my father and then live the weekend at my mother’s house. Holidays it would switch off every year what parent's house I was at. Because of this schedule, I had two rooms, two closets full of clothes, two Christmases, two birthday parties, and two different home lives depending on which parent's house I was at. When you are younger this could be awesome! More presents and you’ll be able to get away with more things, right? Wrong. While I did get more presents and probably got away with more than the usual kid, it was hard as a child to go back and forth never really knowing completely what was going on. I constantly was asking myself “Why don’t my parents talk?” I constantly was being put in the middle of a fight that wasn’t mine. I didn’t choose for my family to be separated like this.
When I was around eleven years old was personally when it hit the hardest for me. I was old enough to be included in the conversation and understand what was happening. I was frustrated that at every one of my sporting games both of my parents wouldn't be there. I was frustrated that I felt like I couldn’t be fully open to one parent about the other. I was frustrated that I had different rules at each house. But most of all, I was frustrated that my family was so divided. This is also around the time that I started to understand what a stepparent was and that I had two of them.
Both of my parents had remarried while I was still very young. When I was small, in my eyes, these two people were also my second mother and father. It took me 'till I was a little older to realize that they were a stepparent. They helped raise me and have always treated me as if I was their own. I’ve grown to learn that the best part of having a stepparent is the fact that your family grows. Because of my parents getting remarried, I have a stepbrother, half-sister, 10 grandparents, and an abundance of extended family members. Having a giant family makes it hard to visit all of them regularly. We are all are spread around the United States and all have different schedules and commitments that make it hard to meet up. But when we do all find time, it never fails to be the highlight of that week.
I am very fortunate to have a family that loves me as much as they do and have been there for everything. While growing up with my parents being divorced, it has made me a stronger, more independent person. It has also brought me so many blessings into my life like my stepparents and siblings. It was definitely hard at times for me, but in the end, it has helped me grow. My family life may not look normal, but it is perfect to me and I wouldn’t want to have grown up any other way.
