When I was born, I was diagnosed with Hypotonia. For those who do not know, Hypotonia is low muscle tone throughout the body; although, my type of Hypotonia affects my bowels more than anything. With that being said, we're about to get very TMI.
Growing up with Hypotonia was anything but easy, I couldn't walk until around age two and even so, it was only due to intensive physical therapy. I couldn't sit or crawl in normal milestones. Low muscle tone is more intense than it sounds. This condition stopped me from many things growing up. I couldn't run as fast as the other kids, or run at all for that matter. I couldn't participate in many sports or activities, and when I did, it would just mean 10x more work than any other kid had to put in. My legs would randomly give out from under me, and I would fall. I would get the worst random muscle pains. All of this meant a lot of teasing and taunting due to my lack of physical ability. Hearing moaning and groaning when I was chosen to be on a team in gym because I was "holding everyone back" wasn't exactly the best confidence booster. Hearing how weak I was or how I needed to "pick up the pace and get over it", made me incredibly insecure. Those things made physical activity a chore, it took the fun out of being a kid. It took the fun out of one of the easiest classes someone could take; gym. Some days I would rather not get dressed for gym and lose the points, than be told how I'm not trying hard enough in the class because they've never heard of my condition. Life was hard with low muscle tone, but that wasn't even the worst part.
Hypotonia messed with my bowels, and by "messed with" I mean completely destroyed. Not only was I not allowed to eat a lot of foods, but the repercussions for eating said foods was incredibly painful. Although, my stomach issues were incredibly painful in general. This part of my condition caused intolerable pain randomly, and in very random spots and situations. Imagine being out and about with friends and then you start feeling this pain, you know you need to get to a bathroom but you can't because your friends are with you and you don't want to embarrass yourself or make them wait. Yet, you can't. The pain is too much to bear, so you find the nearest bathroom. Your friends say they don't mind; followed by your phone blowing up in text messages asking if you've fell in, because you're taking so long. So, you suck it up. You get up and go back to your friends, in the worst pain you've ever felt. Now imagine getting that exact feeling in class, and not going back to class for at least thirty minutes. Imagine your teacher asking in front of the entire class what you were doing in there and why you took so long. Imagine the embarrassment, imagine the amount of classwork missed, imagine how much is taken from this condition.
There is no cure.
I have lived with Hypotonia my entire life, and I am done being embarrassed. I am done lying and I am done hiding this condition from others. I am ready to begin with acceptance and understanding.
