Everyone has something that motivates them. Whether that thing is a family member, a friend, or even a belief. There is always something pushing a person forward. It can even be multiple things and multiple situations. One of the things that push me forward, is my epilepsy.
Up until eighth grade, I was a fairly healthy person. It also wasn't until eighth grade that I knew what atypical absence seizures were. "Atypical absence seizures" is really just a fancy way of a doctor saying "You have epilepsy, but we really don't know what kind."
Typically when a person has a seizure there is either electrical activity in one part of the brain or it starts in one part and spreads across the brain. Either way, there is usually a starting point. I'm a bit unusual when I have a seizure my whole brain just starts going off with no area of orientation.
My symptoms are also a little strange. I don't convulse and I don't lose consciousness. I get a hot flash and my face becomes flushed. I will eventually get a headache that can last for days and dizziness will hit. These symptoms and some unwilling doctors are why my Epilepsy took nine months to diagnose.
Doctors had no idea what was wrong with me. I was sent from specialist to specialist. There was a point where my doctor gave up and wanted to stop sending me to more doctors. If it wasn't for my mom pushing and pushing for them to keep going I may still be undiagnosed.
Due to all the doctors and the symptoms, I missed over 70 days of school my eighth-grade year. I wouldn't let that stop me though. I still managed to make honor roll that year. I learned to teach myself and how to make my own notes, which has helped me to this day.
My grades actually improved after I was diagnosed with epilepsy. Which is the opposite of what typically happens after a diagnosis like that? I was lucky enough to find a medication that worked right away and now I have been seizure free for about two years.
My epilepsy has taught me to never give up. It may sound cheesy, but it's true. There were so many days I wanted to give up. To not do my school work and do not even get out of bed. I pushed through and worked harder than I have ever worked. It showed me that my hard work does pay off and it does count for something. I no longer have symptoms from my epilepsy, but I work just as hard as when I did.
My epilepsy does not define me. It is only one of the many things that contribute to the drive I have inside of me. I am finally ready to realize my epilepsy is a gift. Not, an amazing gift, but one of those crappy gifts that teaches a lesson in the end. I'm ready to accept this gift and all that it comes with.
