This is hard topic to try to explain to someone who does not know what Autism is or how Autism works. I tell most people that I have a close relationship with that I have Autism. No matter how hard I try to explain what it is and how it effects me and my schoolwork, some do not understand. I could sit there for hours and waste my time and other's to explain how it works by using the correct definition of the term, but I won't; I will just tell you what it is like to live with Autism.

Did you know that  Autism affects 1 in 68 children? That's 1 in 42 boys and 1 in 189 girls.

Before I begin I will tell you about the many parts of the spectrum. Asperger's Syndrome is the one of the most severe types, along with the Autistic Disorder. Another is Pervasive Developmental Disorder, which refers to a group of conditions that involve delays in the development of many basic skills. Most notable among them are the ability to socialize with others, to communicate, and to use imagination.

With that in mind, here is my story.

As a child, everything was fine. I was a happy baby and would go to anyone in sight (which scared my parents). Around one or two years old, my parents noticed a change in my attitude. Everything was still okay, because it was normal for moods to change, but years later, we would realize why. When I was in Montessori, I preferred to be by myself. As everyone else was doing something as a group, I would be found sitting underneath my seat reading. I had trouble making friends.

I eventually made some friends as I moved up to first grade; everything was a bit easier. But I preferred to be by myself, since I was not very good at being social. (This is something I still am having a hard time with). As I moved up grades, subjects became hard, my attention was not always where it should have been, I had a limited number of friends, and I could not figure out body language or jokes. By the time fifth grade rolled around, I had a good number of friends that I became comfortable with and could hold conversations with, but that was all lost months after I moved to a different school.

Moving was difficult, since that meant I had to make new friends, and that was something I am terrible at doing. I was shy and alone at the new school. People had to approach me and start conversations because I was scared and awkward. I had trouble with coordination (I still am very clumsy to this day). I eventually made friends and became a bit better at being social.

Middle school years were tough, being bullied and not knowing what could possibly be wrong. I was seeing many psychologists up to middle school, and they each thought I had many different disorders, like bipolar disorder, depression, and more. The only one of those that seemed to be true was my ADHD. I was put on medications to try and control the ADHD, but none of them seemed to work.

In the eighth grade, a school therapist diagnosed me with Asperger's Syndrome. At first I did not believe it, but then after that, every other therapist I saw agreed that Asperger's is what was causing my problems with social skills, repetitive behaviors (I bounce my foot or pretend to snap my fingers), communication problems (more so in my teens to 20s), my lack of coordination, and my limited range of interests and skills or talents (writing and computers). I was put on medication to try to help, but eventually was told to stop taking the medication.

I made some friends in high school that have the same diagnosis as I do, and it was refreshing know that I was not the only one. I could also relate to them and being social was easier. Going to school was/is my favorite thing to do. I love to learn and be around friends. Like everyone, I had a favorite subject and a worst subject. I was bad at math, but if I really worked on it, I could grasp the subject. My favorite was English. My grades were not perfect, but they were good. I had to do work to know the information and have it stick in my brain. I graduated high school with a 3.3 or a 3.5 GPA. I was bullied heavily by many people because of how I acted.

Now I am in college and doing great. I am finishing up my sophomore year and I have many great friends. I did not get past my disorder, but I did learn how to focus and work on some of the symptoms. The symptoms will always be there, and may not be noticed unless you really pay attention to what I am doing.

I am thankful that I have Asperger's Syndrome. It has made me into the person I am today. Even though I am proud to be on the spectrum, I will not let it define me. I am more than Asperger's and I am more than ADHD.

Having a disorder like Autism is hard to understand since you cannot see it physically. It is a neurological disorder, it effects the coordination, the emotions, the way people communicate, the way they focus, and more. Before you judge someone, please get to know them.