Lately, I've noticed something about myself. For some reason I can never keep up with my keys. The key that I use everyday is the third key I've had since I came here to UAH. Also, I am about to purchase my third charger card. I know, its ridiculous. I never fold my clothes anymore. I just keep them in the laundry basket and take them when needed. My hair? Ha! Let's just say hats and dry shampoo are good friends of mine. Do you know that girl that has to move all of the trash out of her back seats in order for you to even open the car door? Well, that would certainly be me. I literally almost ran out of gas the other day. Who runs out of gas these days? Me! I had the money. I was just too lazy to go get gas the first time I went out. Usually, there is food in my hair and my eyeliner is smeared down my face. Why do I choose to live this way? The honest truth, the messy life chooses you.

Oh! And I'm not just messy with how I live life. I am messy with my emotions. I love way too hard. You could smile at me when you see me in the CU and I'm going to think we are automatic friends. Maybe this isn't the worst thing about me. It's just slightly creepy. When I love people, its fast. I'm quick to love someone. I try to give every person the benefit of the doubt. I only do that because every person has their own struggles, their own fears, their own life. I cry a lot. I'll give you an example. Everyone knows the homeless people that sit on the curb when you get onto 72. Well, it was a day where you could feel the suffocating Alabama heat set in. I was in the car with a few friends, going to eat some Chinese food. The man on the curb did not have a hat. For the next 20 minutes, I proceeded to cry heavily. In my mind, he was getting skin cancer. I mean, its completely possible! If you know me, you know that letting go of people is almost impossible for me. If you were in my life once, just know I'm still rooting for you. I still care. My dear friends, lets also not forget about my anger or bitterness. In my old age, anger comes to me rapidly. Sometimes, I don't even understand my anger. I apparently have lots of thoughts and opinions these days. I also have a serious problem with being bitter towards people who have angered me in the past. By the way, I can feel every one of these emotions in about an hour. You just have to catch me on the right day.

Here is my confession. If you are reading this and you happen to be a family member, I'm going to go ahead and say, "Sorry." I cuss, love to go out on Friday. I cheat, and I can lie better than anyone I know. I'm also collecting speeding tickets (Go me). I certainly do not treat people the way they should be treated. I'm selfish. I can be extremely mean to my brother. My point, I'm not perfect. And guess what. God loves me anyway. Isn't that awesome? Guess what else. I love myself. I love when I look in my backseat and and all of my papers are scattered in the floor. I literally chuckle at myself. I love the fact that I spilled a whole pot of chili in my car, just like Kevin on that horrid day he spilled his famous chili on "The Office." Man, I love that. I love when I fail a test, I get to look up to the great sky above me and thank God for giving me the obstacles that make me who I am. I love being imperfectly perfect. It makes me sad when I hear my friends talk about wanting to look perfect. The truth is, no one is perfect and you might as well live life as messy as you can. So tell someone you love them, let that ice cream drip down your hands (don't freak when it gets all over that new shirt), and cry because finals are over and you can finally relax. Don't be afraid to live exactly how you want to.