If You're Living Your Life Without A Vocal Filter, You Might Be Getting Yourself Into Trouble

If You're Living Your Life Without A Vocal Filter, You Might Be Getting Yourself Into Trouble

Just think to yourself will this comment add to the conversation or disrupt it.
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Do you ever have those moments where something pops into your head and you know you shouldn’t say it, but you do anyway?

How about when you want to say something specific, but the words you use to get your point across give off a different meaning? Or even when you are trying to joke with someone, but it comes out insulting? This would be what it is like to live life without a vocal filter. I feel like there are plenty of people that can relate to this issue.

I write this from personal experience because unfortunately, I am plagued with this curse myself. Most people would think I am a shy and timid person, which I guess to a certain extent is true, but those I am closest to would beg to differ. When I am comfortable around the people I am with, I am a talker and once I start it’s hard to get me to stop. This herein lies my problem.

You know how people say think before you speak? Well, that’s pretty good advice and you should take it. I never think before I speak and that’s how I end up in some awkward or tense situations. When a thought comes to mind, I have to say it, it’s like a compulsion. Most of the time I regret what I said the minute I said it, but other times I’m completely left in the dark as to what I said that was so wrong.

Like I said, living with this curse can leave you in some awkward or tense situations. I find myself more in the awkward situations than the tense ones, but I have been in both.

For instance, I have a lot of people in my family and close circle that have a dirty mind and sometimes, they take what I say sexually instead of the innocent comment it was meant to be. This is obviously a more awkward/comical situation as most people end up laughing and I just shake my head. I usually know what to say and what not to say in front of these people, but because of the lack of a vocal filter, it comes out anyway and I’m just left there shaking my head.

Now, let’s talk about some of the more tense situations. Have you ever called someone a name that was humorous, and you were just kidding with them, but they took it more to heart than as a joke? Well, I have found myself in this situation a few times and let me tell you, it is not fun to receive that ‘how could you’ face from someone you care about.

For example, an old coworker of mine, whom I was very close with, and I used to mess with each other all the time at work. It helped kill time and the customers always got a kick out of our playfulness. One day he was interacting with a kid and you could tell this kid was uncomfortable with talking to strangers as he gave my coworker the ‘I don’t know you, why are you talking to me?’ look and I had to laugh.

After the customers left, I made the comment that the kid looked at him like he was the creepy guy in the neighborhood. Now, I meant no harm with this statement, it was a joke, but my coworker took offense. However, being the kind-hearted person he was, he just told me it hurt him instead of like yelling at me or something. I never meant to hurt his feelings and of course, I apologized, but the whole situation could have been avoided if I had just kept my mouth shut and actually thought about what I was saying.

Hopefully, most of you only have moments where you don’t have a filter and don’t have to live with this curse, but I’m sure some of you have it like me where it happens all too often. For people like us, we must be extra careful with what we say and must remind ourselves to think about what we are about to say. Sometimes a misunderstanding can be the difference between a hardy laugh and the loss of a friendship.

So, if there is any advice I could offer you out of this, is to be mindful of others before you speak. Think about your audience because I cannot tell you how many times I have embarrassed myself at work by talking when customers are around.

I know this is hard to do, believe me, I still struggle to keep my mouth shut. Just think to yourself will this comment add to the conversation or disrupt it.

Sometimes things are just better left unsaid.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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12 Things You Pronounce Weird If You're From NJ

Our accents are just as big as our egos... and our hair.
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All of my life, I never thought I had a Jersey accent until I went away to school in Pennsylvania. My Pennsylvanian friends have a field day when they hear the “weird” ways I pronounce certain words. I am constantly the butt of all the jokes and have been asked way too many times to pronounce certain words for others so they can hear how “weird” I speak, but if you’re from Jersey then you know what I mean when I say these things.

NOTE: The words in parenthesis are the way we say it. Which is also the correct and best way to say them.

1. Water (wader)

Okay, so maybe I say water a little differently than others, but this is the way my family has said it for generations. This one is sort of a dead give away. When I’m on vacation and ask for “water” people will always know where I’m from.

2. Drawer (Draw)

I’ve gotten into many screaming matches with people about this. It is a "draw"! This causes many fights between me and my roommate, but I know for sure I’m not the only New Jersian who pronounces it like this.

3. Coffee (Cawfee)

I can’t even explain this without getting angry. It is most certainly not pronounced “Cahfee.” I will fight to my death that coffee should just be spelled the way it’s pronounced which adds a nice “aw” sound instead of that harsh, awkward “ah” sound.

4. Pork Roll (Correct term: Taylor Ham)

Considering most people on campus here call Taylor Ham “pork roll” I am always outnumbered, but don’t think I won’t go to war on this. It is absolutely called Taylor Ham! No, it’s not just the brand. What is a “pork roll”? I assume if you call it pork roll you’re from South Jersey or Philly and I can also guess you don’t even know what real Taylor Ham tastes like. I’m sorry I’m getting way too heated typing this…

5. Dog (Dawg)

OK, I just don’t even know any other way to say dog without adding the typical “aw” sound to it. Is there any other way? I’m pretty sure us New Jersians are not wrong about this one.

6. Talk (Tawk)

This one speaks for itself (pun intended).

7. City (Ciddy)

First of all, when I reference the “city” I am always 100% talking about New York City. Never ever am I talking about Philly. Never. Maybe us Jersians confuse the letters “T” and “D” but you can definitely distinguish my New Jersey background anytime I say “city”.

8. You (Yew)

This term most usually follows a common curse word us New Jersians say frequently. Expect this phrase when you’re driving on the parkway in the summer trying to maneuver your way through the boatloads of shore traffic.

9. Sandwich (Sub)

It pains me when I hear someone go up to a counter and ask for a hoagie. It sends shivers down my spine and makes me question my existence. It’s a sub-short for submarine sandwich-where does the term hoagie even come from?

10. All (Awl)

My roommate truly enjoys making fun of me for this one. Commonly used in the phrase “awl of a sudden”. This is great for story-telling and helps create a dramatic mood.

11. Chocolate (Chawcolate)

The only thing I can say is it sounds a lot better than saying “chakolate.”

12. Jersey (Jerzee)

Please, please, please, and I seriously mean please, do not ever, under any sort of circumstance come up to me and say “Joisey.” I think I would rather have someone call Taylor Ham a “Pork Roll” and insult my favorite pizzeria than ever say that word. I can assure you that no one, and I mean not one person who is from Jersy says “Joisey.” I do however add a nice hard Z to my pronunciation. Sometimes we call it “Dirty Jerz” too.

But no matter what I call it: Jersey, New Jersey, The Garden State or whatever other amazing nicknames there are, my favorite thing to call New Jersey is home.

Cover Image Credit: lostinsuburbiablog / WordPress

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Being Offensive Is Not A Personality, Just So You Know

Offending people is all you have to offer? Really?

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We all know a handful of people that enjoy being really offensive. They'll go out of their way to let you know that they're known for offending people and that they don't care if they offend you. You know the kind of person I'm talking about?

The most popular example of this special kind of person I can think of is Kaitlin Bennett, the girl who gained fame after posting a photo of herself at graduation with an assault rifle on her back. Some of you may have no idea who I'm talking about, and for that, I'm extremely envious. Since her photo went viral, she's been all over social media doing her best to offend every leftist she can. Why? For absolutely no reason.

There are people just like her all over. They attempt to build a personality off of offending people and thrive off the hatred they receive. The problem with this is that being offensive is not a personality. It's not cool, it's not desirable, and it definitely doesn't make you look good. But that's the annoying thing about these people; they don't care about looking good.

The biggest defense for these people I've heard is that perhaps they've had to build up this wall due to adverse experiences in the past. And, sure, that could totally be a reason for it, but anyone I've personally met who acts like this has always come from well-to-do families and Kaitlin Bennett sure hasn't struggled in life. So basically, these people have no justifiable reason for being offensive, they just like doing it to get a rise out of others.

I personally don't see the appeal of being an asshole to everyone. I feel like being offensive constantly would take so much effort. It's much easier just to be kind to people.

If you happen to encounter someone who's entire personality is based on offending everyone and everything, don't engage. Let them run their mouths and preach their insanity. They can't build an identity around being offensive if you don't get offended.

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