If You're Living Your Life Without A Vocal Filter, You Might Be Getting Yourself Into Trouble

If You're Living Your Life Without A Vocal Filter, You Might Be Getting Yourself Into Trouble

Just think to yourself will this comment add to the conversation or disrupt it.

Do you ever have those moments where something pops into your head and you know you shouldn’t say it, but you do anyway?

How about when you want to say something specific, but the words you use to get your point across give off a different meaning? Or even when you are trying to joke with someone, but it comes out insulting? This would be what it is like to live life without a vocal filter. I feel like there are plenty of people that can relate to this issue.

I write this from personal experience because unfortunately, I am plagued with this curse myself. Most people would think I am a shy and timid person, which I guess to a certain extent is true, but those I am closest to would beg to differ. When I am comfortable around the people I am with, I am a talker and once I start it’s hard to get me to stop. This herein lies my problem.

You know how people say think before you speak? Well, that’s pretty good advice and you should take it. I never think before I speak and that’s how I end up in some awkward or tense situations. When a thought comes to mind, I have to say it, it’s like a compulsion. Most of the time I regret what I said the minute I said it, but other times I’m completely left in the dark as to what I said that was so wrong.

Like I said, living with this curse can leave you in some awkward or tense situations. I find myself more in the awkward situations than the tense ones, but I have been in both.

For instance, I have a lot of people in my family and close circle that have a dirty mind and sometimes, they take what I say sexually instead of the innocent comment it was meant to be. This is obviously a more awkward/comical situation as most people end up laughing and I just shake my head. I usually know what to say and what not to say in front of these people, but because of the lack of a vocal filter, it comes out anyway and I’m just left there shaking my head.

Now, let’s talk about some of the more tense situations. Have you ever called someone a name that was humorous, and you were just kidding with them, but they took it more to heart than as a joke? Well, I have found myself in this situation a few times and let me tell you, it is not fun to receive that ‘how could you’ face from someone you care about.

For example, an old coworker of mine, whom I was very close with, and I used to mess with each other all the time at work. It helped kill time and the customers always got a kick out of our playfulness. One day he was interacting with a kid and you could tell this kid was uncomfortable with talking to strangers as he gave my coworker the ‘I don’t know you, why are you talking to me?’ look and I had to laugh.

After the customers left, I made the comment that the kid looked at him like he was the creepy guy in the neighborhood. Now, I meant no harm with this statement, it was a joke, but my coworker took offense. However, being the kind-hearted person he was, he just told me it hurt him instead of like yelling at me or something. I never meant to hurt his feelings and of course, I apologized, but the whole situation could have been avoided if I had just kept my mouth shut and actually thought about what I was saying.

Hopefully, most of you only have moments where you don’t have a filter and don’t have to live with this curse, but I’m sure some of you have it like me where it happens all too often. For people like us, we must be extra careful with what we say and must remind ourselves to think about what we are about to say. Sometimes a misunderstanding can be the difference between a hardy laugh and the loss of a friendship.

So, if there is any advice I could offer you out of this, is to be mindful of others before you speak. Think about your audience because I cannot tell you how many times I have embarrassed myself at work by talking when customers are around.

I know this is hard to do, believe me, I still struggle to keep my mouth shut. Just think to yourself will this comment add to the conversation or disrupt it.

Sometimes things are just better left unsaid.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

Popular Right Now

The Wrong Name Game

That's not my name, but it's close enough.

I've been aware for many years that my name is not something people hear every day. And because of this, I decided to keep a mental checklist of the most common and exciting names people have come up with instead of asking me what mine is again, as well as responding to anything that sounds similar. Keep in mind that some of these incidents happened at Chick-fil-a because my voice has a lower tone and I'm naturally quiet. But I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had this problem.

Starting with the most common mess up, a lot of people have called me Audrey. And I understand why. Audrey is the famous, sporty cousin to Audra. Am I categorizing my name as the nerd or outcast? No. But you hear Audrey a lot more, and even see it on nicknacks, unlike my experience of being disappointed at gift shops.Therefore, it's my number one.

The next has happened at least five times, and I'm not sure how, but different people have come up with Audrea. Maybe they heard the 'a' at the end, and it clicked. If this was a semi-common name, I might understand, but I've never heard the name before. So, upon hearing this a second time, I figured someone had this name, and I just never went to school with someone with it. And every time I hear it now, I respond anyway.

Then there is the fact I've been called Ann. Not only is it shorter than my name, but it sounds nothing like it. As much as I love going to Chick-fil-a, this one was a shocker. I had to do a double-take before realizing that they were referencing to me. And after acting like it didn't matter, even though I was confused, this one immediately made my list.

The last one is I've seen on my friend's phones, apparently put in the day we exchanged numbers: Adura. According to one of my female friends, she never thought about changing it. And I don't insist either. I know it is on more than one of their phones. I've probably done the same to others when I took their pronunciation and used that to spell their names out. So, honestly, I can't be upset.

This slight issue is something I'll have to face my entire life, even if I hold adults to a higher standard than kids with what I go by. If my cousin could say it when she was barely school age, it's probably not that hard of a name. But that's my personal opinion, isn't it? Everyone has issues with their name in some way, and that will be a trend for the rest of time. I just have to live with it.

Cover Image Credit: unsplash.com

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Black Girl Magic

The Power of Women

2018 is the year of change. The old societal rules that have existed to keep people down can no longer exist. One group that has been affected is black women. As one of the most under-represented groups in society, this year has become about showcasing the power of black women.

The movement isn't about bringing down other women, in fact, the black girl movement has come in allegiance with the MeToo and TimesUp movements. Black women in Hollywood have rallied around each other and help each other grow and showcase their talents.

Every day now the world is sent into shock over another "black" film turning into just simply a "blockbuster" film. From Get Out to Black Panther, and most recently A Wrinkle In Time there is no denying that black people can make films that appeal to a greater audience.

The female characters played by black women in films become heroes to the next generation who can now see themselves as leaders, but these actresses don't stop representing black women at the end of the film they bring this power into their real lives.

Lupita Nyong'o and Danai Gurira, two leading actresses in Black Panther, have continued to stand up and support other black women who are achieving great things.

Oprah Winfrey is one of the original icons for black girl magic because she was reaching success on tv and representing black women long before these movements.

Now she uses her platform to help support other black women and grow the empire. From acting and producing A Wrinkle In Time the largest budgeted movie with a black female director to showcasing people on her show.

She has had everyone from Elain Welteroth, to Yara Shahidi, and even Michelle Obama appear on her show to talk about their struggles in life, how they identify themselves, and where they want to see change not just for black women but for all of society.

Sorry men but the world stand on the backs of women. Women have run the world from behind closed doors for too long and we are finally making our debut. All I can do is stay true to who I am and hope to one day achieve a small portion of that success. I want to be able to surround myself with a strong group of people who understand and believe in the power of black girl magic.

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Tanja Heffner on Unsplash

Related Content

Facebook Comments