A few weeks ago, I was enjoying a nice meal with pleasant conversation, lots of laughs and good food. Until the conversation turned less than pleasant.
Imagine people you have known since you were small. Think of people you look up to, admire, and see as kind, generous and warm-hearted. Now imagine the surprise and hurt you would feel if you heard any of these people speak with hate in their heart. Ignorance. Disgust at another human life or at a group of people.
One of my bigger faults has always been that I tend to be a little more on the naive side. I've been accused multiple times of living life through rose-colored glasses. I've learned that it is a mistake to assume that just because someone seems wonderful that they don't also possess flaws. And yes, those "flaws" can include racism, sexism, classism, hate towards religious or political groups, or other forms of hate. Forms of hate which, I have learned, can ruin a person for you.
Perhaps, even more unfortunate, though, is the paralysis with which I found myself consumed. It was no short of shocking to see these people in this new, nauseating light. While there is no excuse, and my discomfort in the situation does not validate a choice to let the hateful speech continue, I realized, if only because of my own fear and feelings of awkwardness, that I was unable to stop this conversation. I could not find the words, and though they avoided my tongue, I could feel them wading in my heart.
It is a strange concept to spend time with people you have known since you were very young. You have a new, deepened, perhaps more cynical perspective on the world in which you live. You bring this perspective to your interactions with the people in your life. Similarly, these people have also changed and developed since time has passed, but they also understand that you have grown. This often leads to two interesting events taking place:
1. These people are more apt to show you a side of themselves they may have hidden from your childhood self.
2. You are more aware of your surroundings, conversations taking place, behaviors, and the implications and subtleties of each of these.
It can be difficult to see a new side of someone, especially one which does not align with the image which you have always had (or you created) of them. Still, there is good in the world, and there is good in these people. Do not let it sully your entire perception of them. Throw on your rose-colored shades and continue to see the bet in life, while learning to stand up for what you know to be right.
