Up until 7th grade, I had been used to the city. I loved the city life, the hustle and bustle and the diversity. There were a variety of restaurants related to my family's culture, and stores that offered foods from my own culture and of others near by. There were people who spoke my language. It was beautiful, and it was my life. Then my family moved to a small town.
It was an incredible shock for me. There was not much racial and ethnic diversity. In my old school, I had friends who were Kurdish, Ethiopian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, African-American, Turkish, Pakistan, and there was none of that diversity here. People would say that I talked differently, which I had never noticed my Southern accent up until that point. I was allowed to wear whatever I wanted, where before in the school I went to I had to wear school colors, khaki and tucked in, due to it being a metropolitan school. People were big into sports, which I was not accustomed to. Everyone came from different neighborhoods in my old school. Here, it seemed everyone came and had lived in the same town all their lives with the exact same people. And for me, I had entered a completely new world.
I detested where I was. I detested the move. I felt like an outsider--and in some aspects I still do. I always thought I would grow to love where I am--but I don't. Now I attend college here--in this small town. Though small towns do have their positives, just like big cities have their negatives, I guess it just isn't for me. I changed to become the person I promised myself I wouldn't when I was in 7th grade. I guess I'm not into drinking to have fun. I guess I'm not into driving an hour away to get to a clothing store. I guess I'm not into bumping into the same people when you go to Walmart. And if you are, that's okay! We are all different.
Living in a small town is difficult when you have big aspirations. Going to college in a small town is hard as well. You see the same people, and if you don't seem to connect or share interests, then you feel stuck, hollow, and even more alone. When you go to events sponsoring opportunities for jobs, they are all for inside your state. What if you want to go bigger? What if you want to see more, do more, and live more. You crave for discovery. You want to go somewhere where no one knows you. You want to do this and you want to do that, but it's hard when you don't love where you are--physically or mentally or emotionally. There has to be more to this small life...right?
One time when I was feeling low about all this, I came upon the following quote. "Don't let small town life, make your life small". And it's true! And you must never let anyone convince you that your dreams are too big. Do what you feel right. Don't follow someone else's dream and don't live the life everyone is expecting you to.This is your life. Not theirs. But nothing comes handed out. You have to work for your dream. And sure, that doesn't mean a perfect road, but you would be getting to where you want to be. Change is scary, but being stuck somewhere where your hearts knows is not where you belong is even scarier. You only have this one life. Explore. Become more. Grow. And let yourself finally love life.
