Living In A Hookup Culture

Living in a hookup culture is far from easy, especially in college. In the society we live in today, we see getting completely wasted every night as normal, making out with random guys as a given, and are expected to end the night having sex with a girl who you just met an hour or two earlier. The kind of culture we have created this to be, virgins don’t exist and there is no such thing as goodie two shoes.

But what if you are that “unusual” kind who doesn’t need all of this all of the time? What if you are one of the few that doesn’t need to get drunk every night in order to have a good time? Or if you are one who doesn’t feel the need to wake up next to a guy every single morning in order to feel self-worth?

In the kind of society we live in today, no one wants the commitment that goes along with relationships. People rather spend their time just hooking up. It seems to be easier to most college aged guys and girls to just have sex with different people on different nights, having no strings attached. Living this way, there is no need to let your guard down when you are not truly forming a romantic or truly lasting, intimate relationship. But what is the point of living this way?

When our parents and grandparents grew up and were dating, society was much different. The guy wouldn’t date the girl without permission, and would pick her up for a “proper” date. A girl was not expected to give any part of herself to the guy at the end of the night. But now times have changed. And although asking the girl’s father for permission is not always expected anymore, a lot of genuine good hearted guys will respect her and treat her well. But when we live in a hook up culture, this image of a genuine man is lost. We begin to lose sight of what a real relationship between a guy and girl look like.

Girls today try playing hard to get just to get the guy to try ten times harder to end up having sex with her in the end or the need for more. But what about the ones who aren’t “playing hard to get,” but rather just have high standards and looking for a true man in the midst of this hook up society.

I think we must focus our eyes on God and pray he will provide for us through the craziness of life. Living in the midst of chaos is considered normal in college, and we quickly get used to the “norm;” going to parties where people are smoking, doing drugs, and are far from sober. Part of being in college, I think we have all experienced this or seen someone experience this to a degree to where we can understand the challenges that go along with trying to live out a normal life yet get high, drunk, or having sex every night.

These temptations are something that will be shoved in our face daily. The devil craves this from us and will thrive in these situations. Yet those God fearing people cannot give up hope. We should try to focus our eyes on God to give us strength and guidance that only He can ultimately provide.

I’m not saying that you can’t have fun in college, nor am I preaching to those who choose to live this way. I am just as imperfect and flawed as anyone else. I am just stating that it is not always the easiest thing to live in this hook up culture that we have created, nor is it easy to fight temptation

Some will find themselves going down the path and letting temptation set in. They will begin down that path in which includes drugs, alcohol, and sex. But then they will see that it isn’t the way they want to live nor go about pursuing a relationship with someone.

It is hard to live in a hook up culture when you are looking for more than just a “hook up buddy” for the night. It’s hard when as society we want the joking around with one another, but not the serious conversations. When we want the cute pictures and relationship goals, but not the days of struggles and commitment leading up to it. We want all the benefits, yet aren’t driven with the right motivation.

It’s hard to look for a genuine good guy in the chaos of this society. Believe me! Trying to find a guy that loves God with every part of himself and wants to know you and not just have sex at the end of the night; It’s next to impossible. It’s hard to have more than surface level conversation with people, when they are terrified to let their guard down. But this is the way we have created our society to be. When we are terrified to commit to someone, and risking the hurt. Risking letting our guard down and afraid of the “what ifs.”

But see the way we do relationships and date (or whatever we want to call it) today is so different than the way God intended for relationships to be. It is meant to be centered around Him, not around sex. God intended for one man to be committed to one woman. For us to be so madly in love with God that He, Himself brings two God loving and fearing people together for the better of the two. Relationships are meant to be more than the physical aspect of a person.