We all have trouble being ourselves, there is an instinct to try and impress others and show off our best selves. We want to avoid judgment or scrutiny. I'm asking you not to do that.
I struggle with this myself. particularly with my Christianity. Occasionally I want to hide that part of myself. There was once I was praying in a hallway with a group at my previous school and my immediate reaction was "why aren't we inside the room"? I wish that hadn't been my reaction, but it was.There are countless times when I have tried to hide that part of myself. Even as I am writing this article, I'm thinking; "Should I do this? Do I really want to publish something like this? What are people going to think?" A lot of people struggle with this (you're not the only one), but why hide such a thing? For fear of judgment? That is usually the reasoning, but more often than not people can tell you are different anyway. Your friends may not know exactly why you're different, but they will notice that you are. If you're living a life for God your light shines whether you want it to or not. In the end, it doesn't matter what other people think.
The church I am currently attending is going through the book of Matthew, and this past week was very focused on judgement of others and on yourself. The phrase that is repeatedly shared is, live for an audience of one. I'm not talking about one as in yourself, or living to please yourself because no one else's judgement matters. It means live for God. He is the only audience member that matters when it comes to judgement. His ruling is the only one. We are here to serve a God who is mighty, faithful, just, and caring, so why should we live our lives in pursuit of anything else. Now, I definitely am flawed when it comes to this. I am not perfect. I still have moments where I think "oh, they don't need to know that", but why hide it? Don't flaunt it around and by no means force it on people, but letting His light shine through us is how we are called to live. Matthew 5:16- In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
I know not everyone who may read this agrees with me religiously, but it does apply to every aspect of life. Why bother trying to hide a part of yourself that forms your identity? I should live by my faith because my identity is in Christ. You shouldn't hide your quirks or passions because it may impress someone more. Who you are as a person is formed by them and trying to hide it for anyone's benefit will only hurt you in the end.
