Living Alone Has Taught Me That Adulthood Is Boring

An important step into adulthood is eventually moving out of your childhood home to live an independent life. Sounds like a dream, right?

But the strange thing about dreams is that they never truly match reality. Well, before my teen years, I was determined to be out of my mother's house and on my own once I turned 18. I had all these plans and ideas for how I was going to use my new found freedom and independence. I would stay out as late as I wanted or invite all of my friends over. Go on shopping sprees or take random adventures just for the heck of it. Maybe date someone. But I was in for a real treat...and a whole lot of disappointment.

I have come to find out that working 30 to 40 hours a week all while going to school leaves little time for extracurriculars. I can't meet up with my friends because our schedules don't sync, but I don't want them over because my home is my sanctuary. The one place where I can unhinge without any guilt. The money I want to spend on those pair of Lululemon leggings would be more fitting if it was spent on a bill or two. And when I finally do have a day off, it's just me, at home, sleeping until four in the afternoon because I was just that exhausted. And random adventures? Forget about it, have you seen those gas prices?! No thanks.

Aside from the busy lifestyle I live just to provide myself with the bare minimum, it really sucks having to go through it all alone. I go so long without seeing my real friends that I've created imaginary ones (not really lol). I talk to myself so much that I forget it's not okay to do that in public. I get so lonely that I beg for my cat to give me attention.

Sometimes, I go to bed early to live out dreams of living in a house full of my favorite people. Most days, I want to call my mom and tell her how sad it is to be alone all the time, but she'll just try and sway me into living under her roof again. My mother always warned me that being an adult wasn't fun. Some days, I suggest that I try my hand in the dating pool, then I remember that I can't seem to find a guy to interest me, or at least be on the same intellectual level as I am who doesn't already have a girlfriend. It's rough out here.

While this plebeian stage in my life feels prolonged and boring, I know it's something I just have to live through - just like everyone else. I don't know if it will get any better or any worse, but this mundane lifestyle will end eventually. All I can do now is live out this lonely snoozefest of an independent life.