My great grandfather lived into his mid-90's before passing away from a fall in 2013. He was in otherwise terrific health for his age, according to all his doctors. I have countless memories with him, but one that stands out to me to this day, that I think about regularly, is from a drive we took. I was young, probably 11 or 12, and my great grandmother had passed away about five years earlier. Where we were going is not important, but I remember where we were at that moment when he pointed to a house out of the blue and said, "that's where my high school sweetheart lives." What we remember from our youth is unpredictable, yet that moment made quite an impression and as I grew up I would think of that day. Questions would come to mind like what happened,does he regret that missed opportunity and would he change anything? He loved my great grandmother with all his heart, but there was a memory there from long ago. About six years later he surprised everyone when he announced that he had proposed to that high school sweetheart. Seventy some odd years later in his late 80's he popped the question.

Over the years I have found myself asking those questions of myself. They have been a motivating force behind every girl I have asked out up to this point in life, "What if I don't ask her out and she would have said yes, and she goes on to marry someone else?" Would I look back in 70 years and still think about that at night before I went to bed, wondering about that missed opportunity? It bothers me to this day if I let someone slip through my fingers without at least giving them a chance to turn me down. Even in the brief sting of rejection there is comfort in the knowing. Those questions have motivated me to have more patience, and to be - with others. One love interest was particularly renown for playing hard to get to the point that there is a thousand miles between us now. I suspect that if there is anyone, I would wonder about in 70 years, as of now, it's her. However, because I know where we stand it isn't so much a what if I had taken the chance, and there is some comfort in that.

Furthermore, that leads to a second important lesson from this memory. Life is short, it is limited, finite. We do not have an infinite number of days and none of us can see the time clock. Our lives are vapors here for a little while that then vanish away. Like the steam rising from a pot of boiling water, there then gone. There are no guarantees in life, and it depends on each person to make the most of it. At some point we will all be in our twilight years, barring exceptional circumstances, and how many, what ifs will be on your mind as you stare at the ceiling at night? What if I had taken the chance? What if I had asked her/him out? What if I had just called her and apologized? What if I had just stopped partying sooner? What if I had proposed sooner? What if…

Old-fashioned kind of guys are rare, and I count myself as one. I have a friend, who occasionally shows me the way men come on to her. To say its vulgar would be an understatement, its also cowardly, they don't even have the guts to just say that they want to sleep with her and nothing more. I want to come off the top rope with a suplex. It gets my blood boiling that someone would have the nerve to look at another person as a piece of meat to sate their appetite. Also, in this technology driven age, I find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that it is socially acceptable to ask a girl out through text messages or DM's. I believe in opening doors, pulling out chairs, compliments, small acts of kindness, etc. But I think sometimes this can get in the way in that it is perfectly acceptable for anyone, either male or female, to express interest, to take that chance clearly and boldly.

Finally, life is short, my great grandfather had another chance and took it. We won't all get that chance. In one of my favorite movies, The Dead Poets Society, Robin William's character, John Keating, is teaching poetry at an influential private school. Keating continually tries to teach the class to seize the day, carpe diem, and in one sobering line he says, "Seize the day. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold and die." So, seize the day.