Today I would like to show you some of my writing. I'm doing this because I'm late on my article, and the one I had prepared didn't save. I don't remember exactly what I have written. I felt like crying when I found that it hadn't saved.

However, today you won't hear me rant. I won't give you some amazing music recommendations. I will just show you some of my writing.

I like writing short stories, fiction novels, and poems. Someday, I would like to publish a book with my writing. I wouldn't mind if it was a memoir, a novel, or a collection of short stories, essays, or poems. But, today, it'll be my poems that I will show you. Only two, since they are kind of long. I wrote them when I was not in a good place, but now, I look at them and try to get strength from them.

The first poem: "The Infinite Sea of You"


we thought we had the world in our hands
smoking it in rolled pieces of paper
eyes twinkling as tendrils of smoke drifted away
and we thought we had it all
as the world filled us with its sweet, killer poison.
remember the night when you said we were infinite
even though I felt so finite
but it had been your words the ones that had made me want more
infinite like the grains of sand on a beach
infinite like the universe
and you had told me I deserved it all and nothing
and you had me wrapped around your fingers easily
remember when we had climbed Mt. Everest
and I had told you that I loved you
and you had laughed away the words
saying how perfect the moment was
when I had thought that you had meant the words back
and that you were just too fucked up to admit that you loved me
but with your sweet lies you pushed me away
but I was blinded by the bright light of your glory
I thought I had it all
when I had nothing
but caramel lies and empty dreams
so the world finally killed me with its sweet killer poison
your dark symphony was the one that had enthralled me
it was the one that had made me realize that you were infinite
and I was finite
because you were everything to me
while I was nothing but a distraction to you
from the moments you wanted to escape so badly from
but tell me
if I had let you go sooner
who would've distracted you
who would've protected you from the black haze
in the end
would there have been an infinite you?


Second poem: "Hollow Vessel"

I was supposed to feel something
but those never butterflies never came
as you hands explored
parts of my body unknown to the world
I was supposed to feel your lips burning
as they brushed my skin
branded my chest
I was supposed to feel something
but I felt empty
while you tried to feel every inch of my skin
but I like you
and I don't know what to do
because my mind is like a hurricane
thrashing and destroying
yelling out for things to be said and done
and wrecking dreams I once had
but as you touched me
I was not ignited
I was supposed to feel something
as you branded my chest
but the feeling never came

I know, I know. Maybe you might be wondering who broke my heart. Trust me, nobody had at that moment. It's hard to explain how I came up with them. Sure, I wasn't in a good place; I just had a lot to let out. But these poems? I'm not totally aware of where they came from.