Stop Listening To Win, And Start Listening To Understand Because Conversations Are Not Competitions

Stop Listening To Win, And Start Listening To Understand Because Conversations Are Not Competitions

Go the extra mile when having conversations with others and you’ll form deeper connections that will last forever.

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You're listening to someone tell a story. It's a great story, so full of detail about their most recent encounter with the cutest puppy that they have ever seen. They go on and on about the puppy and their day, and the series of events that led them to that exact moment. However, the second they mention 'puppy', your mind tunes out. You remember a story related to theirs in which YOU had the same encounter with an even CUTER puppy! So, when they finish their story, you are finally able to let it all out and grace them with the ability to listen to your encounter also.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. And we all do it. It's just that this is called listening to win, and it is the opposite of listening to understand.

I learned about this concept today at a conference held for orientation leaders. More often than not, we listen to others talk and somehow, one way or another, end up making the conversation about ourselves. Yet, through a conscious effort, we will be able to talk to people on a deeper level. If we listen intently to our friends, family, strangers, etc. while speaking to them, then we will be able to connect to them more. We will be able to learn more and feel the depth of human connection more as well. When we listen with genuine curiosity, we are able to show others that we care and that we truly are interested in what they have to say.

Start to ask deeper questions. Don't just ask someone how their day was with the sole purpose of wanting them to ask you about your day in return. Ask them how their day was, but dig deeper. Go the extra mile when forming deep connections and reaching out to others.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Sandra Bullock Is More Than Just The Lady From Bird Box

How dare you call her just the lady...?

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Sandra Bullock is the lead actress of the new Netflix movie Bird Box. This movie has received so many good reviews. Also, there has been memes on social media about the movie. It's become very popular, so even people who haven't seen the movie know about the movie. For example, a meme would say:


Or



However, there was this one disrespectful tweet.


This generation does not know who Sandra Bullock is. This is wrong because Sandra Bullock amazing. People watched Bird Box and discovered who Sandra Bullock was. I watched Bird Box because of Sandra Bullock. She is the reason why I had a great childhood. Let's not forget about all the movies that made her famous. There's many: A Time to Kill, Hope Floats, Practical Magic, Miss Congeniality, Two Weeks Notice, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, The Proposal (one of my favorite movies), The Blind Side, The Heat, Gravity, and Ocean's 8.

All these movies are the best of the best and this generation needs to watch these movies to realize that Sandra Bullock isn't just the lady from Bird Box. She is an extraordinary actress and human being, and her greatness should be recognized. Period.

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