'He's Not The One' And 9 Other Things Your Best Friend Says That You Should Probably Listen To

'He's Not The One' And 9 Other Things Your Best Friend Says That You Should Probably Listen To

Because like your mom... they're probably right.

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We all have "that friend."

The one who has always been there for you for as long as you've known them, whether it's been 10 years or six months. Even if you don't like the term, this is your best friend. This is the person who is your ride or die. The person who helps you no matter what happens and the person who well... is probably right.

While our best friends relay a bunch of wisdom upon us, they usually tell us the same things that maybe for once... we should listen to.

1. "He's not the one."

Stephen Colbert No GIF by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

I know he's tall and cute, but if your best friend isn't a fan... maybe you should take a second look.

2. "That outfit looks great on you!"

Mean Girls

https://giphy.com/gifs/filmeditor-mean-girls-movie-3otPolzFHKEiZt8CZO

Your bestie would never steer you wrong.

3. "Don't buy that."

you look horrible gifs

wifflegif.com

See number 2.

4. "That sounds like a bad idea."

Parks and Rec

http://theirishbanana.blogspot.com/2015/04/theres-gif-for-that-bookcon-edition.html

If your bestie isn't on board, then it might be a no-go.

5. "Stop being so dramatic!"

Stop It Michael Jordan GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

Maybe the fact that you lost your favorite Chapstick isn't THAT big of a deal.

6. "Don't call him!"

clueless

https://giphy.com/explore/phone

Because he doesn't deserve to hear your voice and you don't need to waste your time.

7. "I don't trust her."

Squint

https://giphy.com/gifs/suspicious-s5hSRstbaZmcE

If your best friend doesn't trust her, then she has a pretty dang good reason.

8. "You should look for a new job."

happy

https://gfycat.com/delightfulamusingaustralianshelduck

If you're complaining THAT much about it, then maybe it's time to get in a better environment.

9. "It's going to be okay."

Hug

https://giphy.com/gifs/hug-minions-love-QbkL9WuorOlgI

Because it will.

10. "I will always be there for you."

gossip girl

https://giphy.com/gifs/gossip-girl-blair-waldorf-bff-nNaIvvNDDz1MA

Because they will.

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
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Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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You Belong Here So Stop Saying 'I'm Sorry' All The Time

If you don't need to apologize, then don't apologize.

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Picture this: you're walking down a street in a completely normal and non-disruptive fashion, and all of a sudden, someone walking from the opposite direction bumps into you. What would be your immediate response? If you're thinking that you would frantically respond with "I'm sorry," then you most likely have the sorry syndrome.

The over-apologizers of the world always feel like they're doing something wrong in one way or another. But why is it exactly that we feel that way?

A lot of us, and this is especially true for women, grow up with impossibly high standards to reach. We carry a belief that if we're not doing exactly what we're told at the right time and the right place, we're doing it wrong. That kind of logic is what leads to the constant need of justifying and apologizing: sorry I bumped into you; sorry I didn't close the door; sorry for coughing; sorry for looking terrible today. There's a sense of self-consciousness flowing behind these apologies. In attempting to break this habit, we are also working on our self-acceptance, and being comfortable with the idea that it is impossible to please everyone.
But, say you've worked on your self-acceptance and confidence, but you still find yourself constantly feeling the need to apologize, how would break the habit then?

Say thank you.

Firstly, let's differentiate between sorry and thank you. An apology is about the apologizer and what they did wrong. A thank you, on the other hand, is a form of acknowledgment to the other person. When we apologize, we're making the situation about us, when it doesn't have to be. Rather than apologizing for a trivial mistake, thank the other person for doing something right. "Sorry I'm late" for example, could be "thank you for waiting for me." "Sorry to burden you with this," could be "thank you for listening." This way, we are celebrating the other person rather than filling ourselves with a sense of guilt and pity by apologizing.

There's also a great sense of empowerment in replacing the word sorry. By breaking the habit of chronic apologizing, you are allowing yourself to take up space. As aforementioned, over-apologizers tend to feel like they don't have the right to be where they are. When, in reality, they are perfectly deserving to be in the position that they're in and don't need to apologize for it.
Swapping these words also affects its recipient as much as it's affecting you. Say you're out with a friend who seems to be particularly upset or in a bad mood. Instead of saying "sorry if I put you in a bad mood" or "sorry if this isn't what you wanted to do tonight," you can say "thank you for being here," and so on. In thanking them, you're acknowledging them for what they're doing. By apologizing, however, you're adding guilt to that person and making the situation about yourself.

It's important to note that the majority of people that over-apologize don't have self-involved intentions in saying sorry. In fact, most of them do genuinely feel guilty and want the other person to feel better. But, it's important for all of us to understand the implications of being sorry and know when it's appropriate to use.

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