We all are unique individuals, with vastly different lives, and that almost goes without saying. The funny part about it, though, is that we are all the same in that we are all different. We sit in the bubble of our lives, and sometimes don't realize how similar we are to the other people around us.
After many years of not knowing where I was going or what I was doing with my life, I settled on attending Stephens College in Columbia, Mo. I chose Stephens because I knew they would nurture in me the skills I would need to succeed in the future, as well as be able to offer me classes in a wide variety of my interests. I've been notorious for not being able to make up my mind (I take after my mother), and that still holds true. I wanted to attend a small college where I could continue to experiment with my ideas of my future life.
However, I knew going in that I might be an odd duck, which, if you know Stephens College, is a little ironic. We're an all-women's college on a small, downtown campus, which occasionally accepts men into the theater program. The campus is flanked by a large public university (Mizzou) to the south and the central campus of a nationwide private college (Columbia College) to the north. Stephens is one of the few colleges in the nation that allows students to have pets in their dorm rooms. And in the midst of a fairly conservative state, Stephens College is a center of ideal and policies that most definitely lean liberal. All you have to do is look around, and you will find many odd ducks.
But I worried about not fitting in when I first came to Stephens. I was five months pregnant when I began taking classes. I was married, I was a transfer student, my major was undecided. Comparing myself to the rest of Stephens freshmen, at the age of 23, I was very old. Ancient, it felt like. I felt so far displaced from being a normal college student that I couldn't see past it, and as much as I loved the idea of being at Stephens College, I became apprehensive when it was time to actually attend.
Despite my fears, I learned something this year...something really important. Of course, my coursework was important. But the thing I learned in my first year at Stephens is something I'll keep with me forever.
Even though I am very unique and very special, I am also exactly like everyone else. While I was biting my nails over meeting everyone on the first day, so was everyone else. When I felt nervous about how I was going to run from one class to the other or be able to park close enough to get to class on time, so was everyone else. My friends at school were also missing their parents, their siblings and the time when money wasn't a big deal. When finals were kicking my butt, my classmates were also suffering. When I pulled all-nighters (granted, many of these were due to a baby and not homework), my friends were also losing precious sleep. And when I felt like death during the second half of spring semester, my classmates were sharing the same exact feelings.
I may be unique, but I am not so different that I can't find common ground with other very different people. There is no need to be alone, or to think that you're suffering alone. The world is really a small place once you realize that most of the people in it feel the same things you do, and want -- on a basic level -- the same comforts and pleasures as you. We all want to fit in, to be accepted, and to have friends. So when you get caught up in the fact that you are different, remember to stop and realize that you are not too different at all.
