What if we made more movies where the protagonist loses, where they fail?
Of course, we all enjoy a good, heartfelt movie where the underdog wins in the end, the guy gets the girl, or the hero beats the villain. But the truth is, life doesn’t always work out that way.
There holds a real danger in showing viewers, especially young viewers, only the bright side of life. While these stories can serve as great sources of inspiration, they can also create unrealistic expectations and skew the way adolescents see the world.
I’m a prime example of such a child that has now grown up in a world that wasn’t what the movies made me think it would be.
Like most young girls, I grew up addicted to comedic and dramatic romance movies. Most movies center around a young man who, after falling in love with a young woman, would do anything within his power to fight for her, to prove his love after either or both of them struggle with change for a few minutes.
Whether it’s centered in a high school, the adult world, or around whatever sport he happens to play, since it's always the jocks, they all seem to culminate in the guy making a grand gesture of affection to win her heart. In the end, she always seems to magically end up exactly where she needs to be and with the person she is meant to be with.
Needless to say, that has not been my life, and for a while, I was pretty disappointed by the lackluster reality of it all. While there have been brief crushes, great romances, and a lot more self-doubt than I was prepared for, the reality I have found is that you can’t rely on anyone to fight for you except yourself.
Yes, there are some movies that break the mold. There are stories where the girl takes on the main role or the two decide to just remain friends. But the truth is, those are few and far between.
It’s the cliché movies that get the most attention, and they’re creating a culture of viewers that all believe they are the underdog awaiting their victory, or the girl next door waiting for her Prince Charming. Really, while some will win the prize or the heart of another, not everyone will.
Rather than create a culture of princes and princesses, we have created a society of just Cinderellas, sitting around waiting to have the glass shoe brought to your door. Because you think you’re the princess, you expect things to work out without putting in much effort.
There should be more movies that motivate viewers, particularly young women, to be strong and independent. Whether that means they make the first move without feeling “pushy” or come to realize that a prince isn’t a prerequisite for happiness, it’s important that women understand that their self-worth is in their own hands and not in the eyes of another.
What’s worse is the impression men get from these same movies. If the guy always gets the girl, especially in the case of being the “bad boy”, it gives men the idea that they can act however they want and expect women to cave.
This expectation held by the men and imposed to the women creates a very dangerous power dynamic when starting relationships. It should never be assumed that you can treat someone badly and they’ll still come back to you in the end.
People deserve to be fought for; men and women. People deserve to be treated well and apologized to. But most importantly, people need to know it is alright to fail.
So we need more movies where the football team loses, where the guy doesn’t get the girl or, even better, where the girl gets the guy. Perhaps even ones where the girl realizes she doesn’t need the guy.
We need more movies with strong female leads. We need more movies where the guy is called out for acting wrong and the girl doesn’t go back to him in the end. Maybe he can even learn a lesson from his actions.
We need movies that reflect the society we want so we can stop being surprised that we don’t have it.
