Life seems great most of the time. But when life starts to crumble, it crumbles fast. It is like an earthquake that causes an avalanche that rains for weeks. I have recently faced the hardest three months of my life. I have dealt with fear, loss, death, illness, academics, disappointments, brokenness-- you name it. While I wish none of this had happened, it did. The good thing is Jesus was there to deliver my family and me through all of it.
In September, my father began to have complications with his LVAD. He had an emergency heart transplant and was sedated for 6 days after. A second surgery was performed during this time due to complications. When I first got the call that my dad was in the hospital again, I really did not think he was going to make it.
No one in my family did. The surgery was risky. There were complications. His lungs took forever to breathe on their own. I was praying for peace and strength. I was praying for my dad's suffering to end, whichever way God intended to make it end. My dad started his slow recovery two weeks after surgery and has made great progress ever since.
After missing two weeks of school, I finally returned to Tampa and had piles of assignments to complete. My professors were extremely understanding and gave me extensions. They were lenient on my grades. They also did mental health check-ins with me often and always asked how my dad was doing. During this time, my car broke down and it became difficult to get to class. I could no longer make the four-hour drive on the weekends to be with my father. On top of that, I became sick with a gross stomach flu, which I would have for almost two weeks straight. Then, my roommate and best friend decided to hit me with "I am transferring back to FIU" and I needed to find another roommate. Finally, after a few days of stability, I take a trip with some friends to enjoy a weekend. When I return, I learn my grandmother has passed away.
Drowning in schoolwork, repair bills, sickness, drama, death, and family illness, I was desperate. Why me, God? Why now? I just wanted it all to end. I wanted to drop out. I wanted to lock myself in my room. I wanted my dad to get home and I wanted to get home to be with him. Nothing else in the world mattered.
But God showed me why me and why now.
God delivered my dad through the surgery and has made his recovery possible. He has re-inspired our faith, strength, and love for our religion and our family. My car broke down so that I would not go visit my dad and get him sick with the stomach flu I had. My roommate is strengthening our friendship through honesty and is teaching me how to be flexible in life. My grandmother's passing has taught me how important your mental strength is to fight through illnesses like cancer.
God helped me pause and consider what is really important in life.
While I wish His lessons were easier, I understand them. I can find the purpose and peace in these storms. And I am forever thankful that God pulled my family and I through.
