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7 Undeniable Phrases You've Said If You're An 'Emotionless Looking' Lifeguard

Although we may look like it, we're not bored.

Keegan McAdams

Aug 01, 2018

Western Washington University

271

7 Undeniable Phrases You've Said If You're An 'Emotionless Looking' Lifeguard

Too many people think that lifeguards are always bored at their job while they stand around staring at people just waiting for something to happen. Sure, I guess there might be some guards here and there that are honestly bored, but the majority of us really aren't. What are we doing when we look like a blank slate?

We're thinking.

Lifeguards are almost always thinking. We think about who in the pool might be the highest risk, how many people are currently in the water or if the current guarding position is most ideal for the activity taking place. When it's a hot day outside and the pool you're watching is super busy, you've got to think in advance and be prepared for anything.

Now, with all that said, there are some other thoughts that do creep into our minds while guarding… let's lay them out:

1. “Please don’t run... just stop... don't even think about...”

I swear this is the number one thing we always have to tell people — you can see when a kid is gearing up to for a sprint too.

2. Sees someone floating face down “Please move, please move, please move, please move…”

Please, don't dead man float. If I see you doing that, you're gonna get told not to.

3. “I really hope that’s just a bandaid on the bottom…”

It is normally just a bandaid… normally…

4. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven — wait did I already count them?”

Why is everyone in such a big hurry to move around? Can't you see I'm trying to silently count you all in my head?

5. Looks at other lifeguard to see if they’re gonna enforce a rule while they look at you wondering the same thing

It's just like when you try to walk pass someone on the street and you keep stepping in front of each other instead of out of the way.

6. Either, “Wow, it’s so nice outside! I wish the pool was outdoors” or “Wow, it’s so rainy out here! I wish the pool was inside.”

I mean, I personally prefer inside pools, but I think I'm a minority there.

7. “Yes, I can certainly and immediately adjust the water temperature while I’m on rotation guarding. Thank you for asking.”

In case you missed my tag, no, we can't really adjust the temperature.

"You've been in the water five hours already, I think it's time to go, Mr. Prune."

Really how much time do you want to spend in a chemical coup anyway?

"Are you gonna get in the water... no? OK — wait, now you are... or aren't? Make up your mind!"

Wishy washy people who can't decide if they want in or out. I'm trying to count, pick one!"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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7 Undeniable Phrases You've Said If You're An 'Emotionless Looking' Lifeguard

Although we may look like it, we're not bored.

1. “Please don’t run... just stop... don't even think about...”

2. *Sees someone floating face down* “Please move, please move, please move, please move…”

3. “I really hope that’s just a bandaid on the bottom…”

4. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven — wait did I already count them?”

5. *Looks at other lifeguard to see if they’re gonna enforce a rule while they look at you wondering the same thing*

6. Either, “Wow, it’s so nice outside! I wish the pool was outdoors” or “Wow, it’s so rainy out here! I wish the pool was inside.”

7. “Yes, I can certainly and immediately adjust the water temperature while I’m on rotation guarding. Thank you for asking.”

"You've been in the water five hours already, I think it's time to go, Mr. Prune."

"Are you gonna get in the water... no? OK — wait, now you are... or aren't? Make up your mind!"

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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2. Sees someone floating face down “Please move, please move, please move, please move…”

5. Looks at other lifeguard to see if they’re gonna enforce a rule while they look at you wondering the same thing

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