Life With A LDR (Long Distance Relationship)

Life With A LDR (Long Distance Relationship)

“The scary thing about distance is you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you.” - "The Notebook"

Long distance relationships take a lot of adjustment and sometimes they don't always work. They require a lot of time and commitment even though you don't see your partner as much. If you are used to seeing your significant other almost every day of the week or even something close to that then turning it into a long distance relationship and seeing them every weekend at best is going to be a huge shock. It isn’t as hard of a transition for some people because they may have done it in the past, but for first timers (like me) it does take a lot of getting used to.

Of course everyone has heard the horror stories of couples breaking up because one or both of them just don’t feel the same way they did in the beginning or the absolute worst would be when someone cheats and you don’t know about it because you aren’t there. There are a lot of things that can happen, but these are just the worst case scenarios.

Best case scenario is that you make the long distance work while you have to and that makes your relationship stronger because it makes you have to trust them. If you don’t trust them then it really will never work. Long distance doesn’t have to mean an unhappy ending.

Of course there are going to be a decent amount of cons to having your relationship be tested by distance, but there are a lot of pros also especially if you’re in college.

One of the better things about being in a long distance relationship would have to be that you have a lot more time to focus on your school work when you’re not together and more time to just spend with them when you actually are. Personally I don’t want to spend time doing homework when I could be just relaxing or going out to do something.

Going off of that point though, one of the cons is that you feel like you have to make sure every moment is great and never boring. Since you don’t normally see them you assume that you shouldn’t just relax and do nothing all day because you can do that when you aren’t together. This isn’t necessarily true for everyone, but for some it is especially when you only see your significant other maybe once a month because they live much farther than a simple drive away.

Once you see your partner in person you feel happy and rejuvenated, which is one of the pros of a long distance relationship. When you are so used to seeing someone so often you don’t realize how much you can miss them when they aren’t actually there. So when you finally see them it feels like a breath of fresh air and like nothing has even changed. You may even feel slightly inclined to jump into their arms, I vote go for it.

The downside to this is that when you or your significant other has to leave again you feel sad and like something is missing. You of course don’t want to go back to your everyday lifestyle because that means classes, homework, and downtime where all you can do is think about how stressed you are and that you wish your partner was there to make you feel better. Then of course all you can think about is when you’re going to see them next, but that’s a pro within a con: you get to see them again.

What I’ve realized is that since I have been in a long distance relationship is that I have gotten a lot more sleep. I’m not sure if this is true for others, but since I no longer do much on school nights besides clubs, homework, and seeing my friends I get to go to sleep whenever I want. There is no having to wake up at a certain time because your partner has class even when you don’t. You also don’t hang out with them and all their friends until midnight when you have an 8:15 in the morning (sort of a con within a pro).

Sometimes the distance can create too much of a gap within the relationship. By this I mean that you don’t always know what they’re doing in their life unless they feel like telling you. A lot of the time there are conversations that start off with “oh I didn’t know that happened” and the other saying “I thought I told you about this.” This can make you feel sort of left out of what’s going on in their life and can unfortunately cause a fight regarding not knowing your partner anymore.

Some of these cons can be avoided or mended though! Some tips I have are to try to talk as much as you can whether that is over the phone or texting, surprise your partner sometimes with something small, if you have a girlfriend I would suggest giving them an article of clothing such as a sweatshirt that you wear often, and finally just try to visit them as much as you can/can afford.

While it can be sad and frustrating a times to miss someone, you’ll find that you are most likely able to handle it in the end. It just takes a little adjustment. I suggest keeping yourself distracted with things like joining a club, attending social events, study, and be with your friends! Your friends will be able to cheer you right up and get you preoccupied.

“Absence makes the heart grows fonder, doesn't it?” – Simon Van Booy

Cover Image Credit: marcellapurnama.com

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If You Really Want To Get To Know Someone, Ask These 100 Questions

Everyone has a story that you know nothing about and it's hard to even know where to begin, so here's 100 questions to really open a conversation as to who someone is on their deepest levels.

If you truly want to get to know someone, you must delve much deeper than "favorites" and small talk.

Everyone has a story and if you're committed, that's something you should get to know and understand.

So, when in doubt, here's 100 questions to ask to truly begin to know who someone is on their deepest levels.

  1. What makes you happy?
  2. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
  3. What are your top 3 goals in life? How do you plan to achieve them?
  4. If you had $10,000.00, what would you do with it?
  5. What is your deepest fear?
  6. What is your darkest secret?
  7. What is your all time favorite song?
  8. What is the motto you live by?
  9. Who is your biggest role model?
  10. If you could meet any deceased person for lunch, who would you meet and why?
  11. Who’s the first person you call when something incredible happens? When something awful happens?
  12. What is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
  13. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
  14. Describe your perfect date.
  15. Do you prefer to fly or drive? Why?
  16. What’s your all-time favorite memory?
  17. Who’s had the biggest influence on you during your lifetime?
  18. Are you religious? Do you believe in any higher power?
  19. What gets you out of bed in the morning? What makes you happy to jump out of bed in the morning?
  20. Are you a morning person or a nighttime person?
  21. Would you ever compete on a reality show? Which show?
  22. What is grounds for ending a date immediately?
  23. Would you ever take back someone who’s cheated?
  24. Have you ever/would you ever ride a motorcycle?
  25. What’s something materialistic you could never live without?
  26. Do you shop at thrift stores?
  27. What do you want to be remembered for?
  28. What’s your favorite quote?
  29. What’s the most awkward situation you’ve ever been in?
  30. What is your spirit animal?
  31. What is your most unusual talent?
  32. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
  33. Do you volunteer anywhere? Why?
  34. Do you believe in any conspiracy theories?
  35. What’s your favorite takeout food?
  36. Did you enjoy your high school years? Your college years?
  37. Would you ever/have you ever done karaoke?
  38. What is something you avoid at all costs?
  39. What did you want to be when you were young?
  40. What’s one job you would never do?
  41. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
  42. What is your dream job?
  43. If you were lost in the woods, how long do you think you would survive? Why?
  44. Would you prefer to live in a large city or in the middle of the woods?
  45. What movie can you practically quote from start to finish?
  46. If you were a ghost, where would you haunt? Why?
  47. If you had to relive 10 minutes of your life for the next 48 hours, which 10 minutes would you relive?
  48. What is your absolute favorite memory?
  49. If you could master one new skill, what would it be?
  50. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you in the last month?
  51. What makes you feel accomplished?
  52. What is the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?
  53. Do you have any tattoos? What do they mean to you?
  54. What was your first job?
  55. Do you like surprises?
  56. What is your favorite word?
  57. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
  58. Would you ever take back someone who cheated?
  59. Do you believe in second chances?
  60. Do you have any regrets? What’s your biggest regret?
  61. What’s one controversial topic you’re incredibly passionate about?
  62. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?
  63. What are some personal “rules” you never break?
  64. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?
  65. What are your top 3 priorities in life?
  66. What are the top 3 things on your bucket list before you die?
  67. What was the best advice you’ve ever received? Who gave it to you?
  68. If you could meet any historical figure, who would you choose to meet?
  69. How many siblings do you have? How close are you to them?
  70. What is your alcoholic beverage of choice?
  71. Do you enjoy dancing?
  72. How many dates must you go on before you lock lips?
  73. What are some of your insecurities?
  74. What are some of your pet peeves?
  75. Do you speak any other languages? Are there any languages you want to learn?
  76. What 3 qualities do you value most in a person? What 3 qualities do you admire most in a person? Why and why?
  77. What songs bring back memories for you? What memories and why?
  78. Where do you get the majority of your news?
  79. What social media are you on? Why are you on it?
  80. What enriches your life more than anything?
  81. What is your definition of “home”?
  82. When you’re incredibly stressed, what do you do to calm down?
  83. Have you ever shot a gun?
  84. How do you feel about the military?
  85. How close are you with your family?
  86. Would you ever go on a blind date? Who would you allow to set you up on a blind date?
  87. Who would you trust with your life?
  88. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Why?
  89. What is your definition of “love”?
  90. Why do you think you are on this earth? What is your purpose in life?
  91. What was the worst time of your life? The best time?
  92. Do you want to have kids? Why or why not?
  93. What seemingly normal thing really upsets you?
  94. Do you have any phobias?
  95. Are you a dog person or are you a cat person?
  96. Do you take long or short showers? Or baths?
  97. What style do you want to decorate your first apartment/house?
  98. How do you feel about sex before marriage?
  99. What quality do you love most about yourself?
  100. When will you consider yourself “successful” in life? How do you define “success”?
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What My Long-Distance Relationship Taught Me

No one expects to find themselves in an LDR, but it can lead to valuable life lessons.

The summer going into my freshman year of college I fell in love with an amazing guy. He makes me laugh, supports my goals, and reminds me to not take life too seriously. We knew we did not want things to end after just one summer. Unfortunately, his school was six hours away from mine. So, we decided to try long distance.

Dating long distance was a situation I never anticipated being in, but one that I was willing to give a shot. A year and a half later and we now go to the same school. We are lucky enough to see one another every day, something we do not take for granted. Although our days of dating from a distance are in the past, I still reflect on the valuable lessons our LDR taught me.

Patience.

Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you, patience is not one of my virtues. However, being in a long-distance relationship challenged me to develop this trait. Patience helped me deal with the discomfort of living so far apart in a way that best suited my relationship. This self-control taught me that when life gets tough, having the ability to look into the future is valuable. My boyfriend did not run on the same schedule as me so finding the patience to accept that truth allowed us to come up with solutions to any problems that arose.

Communication.

Communication is essential to any LDR. Effective communication is much more than being able to talk though; it is also the ability to listen and understand others. Thankfully with today’s technology, it is easy to connect, whether that be through Facetime, text, or social media. Setting times to be in touch gave us something to look forward to and assured that we were keeping up with what was happening in each other's lives. Additionally, learning to address and resolve problems and conflict over distance prepared us to deal with future challenges in-person.

Trust.

You cannot have a relationship without trust, let alone a happy and fulfilling one. Trust is a two-way street, but when built it results in a tight, strong bond. It means you show mutual respect for each other’s boundaries, resolve conflicts in healthy ways, and show consideration and care. When you live hundreds of miles apart, trust is more important than ever. You cannot control who your partner spends time with or where they go, so you must trust that their words and behaviors will match up.

Creativity.

When you are in a long-distance relationship, finding interesting ways to do new things together can be difficult. Care packages, virtual movie dates, and surprise visits are just a few ways to make memories. By winter break of my freshman year, my boyfriend and I were both anxious to see one another. To add excitment to our reunion, I told him that I had an exam Friday afternoon and would not be home until Saturday. In reality, I finished my exams Monday afternoon. Nothing compared to the look on my boyfriend's face when I showed up on his doorstep Tuesday morning, four days earlier than he expected to see me. It is a memory we fondly look back on to this day and goes to show the difference a little creativity can make.

Commitment.

Commitment is a belief in the permanence of a relationship. Unlike love, it is a conscious decision. Neither one of you will always get your way. Disagreement is inevitable, but the conflict is optional. Finding ways to compromise will help you both to see things eye-to-eye. All relationships will have their ups and downs, but commitment will get you through it.


There will always be people who doubt whether your LDR will work, but what is important is that you trust and respect one another. Long distance is not easy, but as the saying goes, the things we have to work for are often the very things most worth having. In the end, a long-distance relationship can teach you a great deal about yourself and your partner and ultimately strengthen your relationship.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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