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Life With A LDR (Long Distance Relationship)

“The scary thing about distance is you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you.” - "The Notebook"

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Long distance relationships take a lot of adjustment and sometimes they don't always work. They require a lot of time and commitment even though you don't see your partner as much. If you are used to seeing your significant other almost every day of the week or even something close to that then turning it into a long distance relationship and seeing them every weekend at best is going to be a huge shock. It isn’t as hard of a transition for some people because they may have done it in the past, but for first timers (like me) it does take a lot of getting used to.

Of course everyone has heard the horror stories of couples breaking up because one or both of them just don’t feel the same way they did in the beginning or the absolute worst would be when someone cheats and you don’t know about it because you aren’t there. There are a lot of things that can happen, but these are just the worst case scenarios.

Best case scenario is that you make the long distance work while you have to and that makes your relationship stronger because it makes you have to trust them. If you don’t trust them then it really will never work. Long distance doesn’t have to mean an unhappy ending.

Of course there are going to be a decent amount of cons to having your relationship be tested by distance, but there are a lot of pros also especially if you’re in college.

One of the better things about being in a long distance relationship would have to be that you have a lot more time to focus on your school work when you’re not together and more time to just spend with them when you actually are. Personally I don’t want to spend time doing homework when I could be just relaxing or going out to do something.

Going off of that point though, one of the cons is that you feel like you have to make sure every moment is great and never boring. Since you don’t normally see them you assume that you shouldn’t just relax and do nothing all day because you can do that when you aren’t together. This isn’t necessarily true for everyone, but for some it is especially when you only see your significant other maybe once a month because they live much farther than a simple drive away.

Once you see your partner in person you feel happy and rejuvenated, which is one of the pros of a long distance relationship. When you are so used to seeing someone so often you don’t realize how much you can miss them when they aren’t actually there. So when you finally see them it feels like a breath of fresh air and like nothing has even changed. You may even feel slightly inclined to jump into their arms, I vote go for it.

The downside to this is that when you or your significant other has to leave again you feel sad and like something is missing. You of course don’t want to go back to your everyday lifestyle because that means classes, homework, and downtime where all you can do is think about how stressed you are and that you wish your partner was there to make you feel better. Then of course all you can think about is when you’re going to see them next, but that’s a pro within a con: you get to see them again.

What I’ve realized is that since I have been in a long distance relationship is that I have gotten a lot more sleep. I’m not sure if this is true for others, but since I no longer do much on school nights besides clubs, homework, and seeing my friends I get to go to sleep whenever I want. There is no having to wake up at a certain time because your partner has class even when you don’t. You also don’t hang out with them and all their friends until midnight when you have an 8:15 in the morning (sort of a con within a pro).

Sometimes the distance can create too much of a gap within the relationship. By this I mean that you don’t always know what they’re doing in their life unless they feel like telling you. A lot of the time there are conversations that start off with “oh I didn’t know that happened” and the other saying “I thought I told you about this.” This can make you feel sort of left out of what’s going on in their life and can unfortunately cause a fight regarding not knowing your partner anymore.

Some of these cons can be avoided or mended though! Some tips I have are to try to talk as much as you can whether that is over the phone or texting, surprise your partner sometimes with something small, if you have a girlfriend I would suggest giving them an article of clothing such as a sweatshirt that you wear often, and finally just try to visit them as much as you can/can afford.

While it can be sad and frustrating a times to miss someone, you’ll find that you are most likely able to handle it in the end. It just takes a little adjustment. I suggest keeping yourself distracted with things like joining a club, attending social events, study, and be with your friends! Your friends will be able to cheer you right up and get you preoccupied.

“Absence makes the heart grows fonder, doesn't it?” – Simon Van Booy

"Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic." - J.K. Rowling

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