PART 4: MODERN MATTHEW (2014-2017)
In 2007, while I was being deeply immersed in therapy, my father accepted a job as head wrestling coach and AP Statistics teacher at Wesleyan School, a private K-12 Christian school boasting about 1,000 students (the number has since grown to about 1,200). At the time, I still lived very much inside my head, but when I stepped on campus for the first time with my dad, I could sense something different. Every teacher and student—even the headmaster—seemed personable, the campus was college-quality, there were signs with "Jesus, Others, Yourself" plastered all around, the students seemed to experience and love God no matter where they went and they enjoyed going throughout Atlanta and beyond sharing the Gospel on spring break mission trips. It seemed like the perfect school. But I knew I would never make it in. You may remember from my first article that I struggled very much with relating and communicating, something that I could sense in every Wesleyan student. I also struggled a lot with change, which was something that threw me into a fit, to say the least, especially if it was the opposite of what I desired or expected. The bulk of the hardships of Mill Springs took place in the second semester; before then, I believed I would remain there until I graduated. So you can imagine my surprise when my mother randomly proposed that I apply to Wesleyan in December 2013.
My first response was one of fear. Earlier that year, my father, having left behind his wrestling job for Dean of Students, lectured to us at Mill Springs about disciplinary systems outside of the Levels System. One of the people whom I had taken as a friend equated it to a public school, which resulted in a quiet and largely private, but no less intense series of arguments about how Wesleyan was essentially a public school, that I was destined for failure outside of Mill Springs, that because I was incapable of making friends (not that he was any more capable himself--he just thought I was an extreme hermit because I lived in a large subdivision and hardly knew anyone), I would simply not survive anywhere else but Mill Springs. However, those initial feelings soon gave way to those of excitement, and it took very little to convince me that I needed to leave.
And so, after yet another series of interviews and applications, I was accepted into Wesleyan School in April 2014. One of the teachers who had interviewed me just so happened to lead the middle school quiz bowl team, so, one day after I was accepted, she invited me to one of their practices. I fell in love instantly. Everyone welcomed me—and they liked it when I answered questions. I knew then that coming to Wesleyan would be the best decision I would ever make in my life, and so, I came to Wesleyan ready to free myself from the chains of the Levels System.
That summer, I grew my network of friends and acquaintances exponentially as a member of the Wesleyan Marching Wolves. While I outwardly tried to appear friendly and open to new people, inside I was traumatized. Socially, Mill Springs had been unlike anything else I had ever experienced. Every time I saw a teenage girl who looked remotely like the one who dissed me in that Levels meeting the previous March, I would do a double take. I warily approached teenage girls, knowing that they could become angry at me at any moment. Thus, while I flourished academically, I degenerated socially, until one day in December, an Advent devotional challenged me to write a Christmas letter to one with whom I had long been incommunicado. I knew whom to write.
My letter got right to the point. I apologized profusely for what I had done to her and asked for a renewed friendship. In February, her response finally came in the three best words I have ever heard in my life: “no bad feelings.” It was the absolute best feeling of relief I have ever experienced in my life.
Since then, life has been going very well. Conversations still tend to be difficult for me, but I am learning how to invest in people and find true friends. I make great grades, continue to participate in marching band and quiz bowl as well as track and field. I have amassed many admirers and even a homecoming date. But I know that if it had not been for the intervention of my family – their love, prayers and undying determination and support, the best sister ever and, above all, God and his faithfulness, I would never have been able to experience the wonderful place that is Wesleyan School; the love and faith of the people here has helped me grow into who I am today.
