Going through life, everyone has met or will meet those people that can only be described as one word: cool. The one's who can roll out of bed with a flick of the head and their hair looks perfect; they know exactly what to say in every social situation they encounter; most importantly, when they walk into rooms, everyone silently thinks, "ohh, he/she's cool." In no way, shape, form, or any other moniker of this nature will ever be applied to me. I'm more the kind of person her friends push into situations because the results will be exaggerated and probably hilarious. Why just this week, I was in a local supermarket and got knocked into a display, causing a lot of noise and a bit of a scene. The average person may have felt a little embarrassed when a store worker came over to help, but surely nothing strange would happen; unless of course, you're me. My reaction? Fake a British accent for 20 minutes because apparently being a clumsy tourist is better than being a clumsy local. The problem being that I WAS AT MY LOCAL SUPER MARKET! THEY ALREADY KNOW ME! Luckily, I'm not alone in this fight against social anxiety. If you think you might have this same sense of social anxiety, take a look at this list and see what applies to you:
1. Talking to Strangers Makes You Want to Vomit
I've passed three major grocery chains to go to a shop I knew for certain would have a self service checkout because apparently, "I heard on the news that cats plot to revenge poo just to make their owners mad; have you got one?" is not normal everyday chatting.
2. It Get's Worse When It's Over the Phone
I've gone to pick up takeout and had to answer to Carley, Casey, Haley, Hailey, Bailey, and Marley because I've been too embarrassed to correct the restaurant.
3. Our Reactions to Things Are Bizarre
See stupid British accent in opening.
4. You Become the Cool Friend in the Strangest Situations
I may not be smooth in coffee joints or take out places, but I am the pride and joy of any zoo when answer bizarre animal facts, Which whale has only two teeth, with the males upper tooth growing through the lips? NARWHALS MY FRIENDS!
5. On the Rare Occasions We Get Hit on, It Goes Poorly
Genuinely, when I lived in London, on my first day of work I went to a shop to buy myself a coffee; the cute guy working the counter was really sweet and when I payed with a credit card, he said something along the lines of "If you can just sign here, and jot down your number in case something's wrong with the card.." My response, "Oh don't worry, I have cash!" He then had to awkwardly explain his desire for my number, and I proceeded to melt in a wall of fiery shame.
Maybe some of these apply to you and maybe they don't, but everyone knows the supremely socially awkward. We may not be great at parties, but we're usually an amazing laugh and can let almost anything roll off our backs. Look at it this way; if you fall up every set of stairs you walk up, you have to laugh. If you didn't, you might just cry.
