Life behind the screen

The Life Behind The Screen

How often do we, look at someone's social media and immediately feel envy for what they have because of what they've posted?

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We live in an era where social media dominates the greater part of our everyday lives. It's such a common occurrence to post about your life on social media. We pay attention to our followers, the number we have, the interactions our posts get, and so on. With being so invested in social media, we also get very caught up in the "lives" of the people that we are following. We may see an Instagram model, and then we immediately wish to be as pretty as them, or that we have their clothes, or could pull off their hair color. We look at the "perfect" couples that post all of their artsy pictures, and envy them for the love that they have. We set them as this impossible standard for our own relationships, and are dissatisfied when our love life doesn't seem to compare to theirs. We view people that get to travel to beautiful countries, and feel instant jealousy because we might not get to travel the way that they do.

Here's the tea that I'm about to spill for you; the life we see portrayed by that person on social media isn't always the same behind the screen. When you look at that Instagram model, you probably don't realize that she is struggling to support her passion, she has to travel and miss college just to keep her job, we don't read all of the hate messages she receives because people don't like the clothes that she wears, or the industry she represents. That perfect couple that you envy because your relationship will never be as good as theirs, the truth is that they face struggles too. I know, what a concept, their relationship isn't always rainbows and butterflies, they fight, and argue, but we can't tell that from their social media. Those people that get to travel the world, going to beautiful places, and doing all of the things you could only dream of; you may not know that they had to have prescription medication to handle their anxiety just so that they could get on their plane.

On your screen all of the people seem to lead perfect lives. Their social media is tailored to portray all of the positive things that are happening in their lives, but then that leads us to believe that we have to lead perfect lives all of the time. However, this to me raised a very valid question. Why are we so quick to flock to the people who lead these "perfect" lives, but are so quick to judge the people that aren't afraid to show the struggles that they are facing. We have put such a negative stigma around being open about our daily struggles that we as a society feel the pressure to lead perfect lives all the time and that's just not how that works. Life isn't always good, we're human, we face heartbreak, we cry and scream, and have fears. Why is it that when we express, the not pretty part of life, people are so quick to say that we are just asking for attention.

Please remember that there is a real life behind the post on the screen. Be kind, don't just assume because someone is brave enough to admit their life isn't perfect, that they are just begging for attention.


Just remember what we see on the screen isn't always what it seems. I'm so thankful that Riley Dacus brought this to so many people's attention.Riley Dacus

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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How To Know That You're In A New York State Of Mind

"New York is the city that other cities can only dream of being."

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A New York State of Mind does not mean you reside in the city, it is a way of life that you live, in which only some people can handle. Here's how to know if you are in a New York State of Mind.

You've got goals, baby.

Setting your mind on your goals, knowing that you'll achieve them is the number one step. You'll do anything to pursue your goals, which is what any good New Yorker would do.

You're not afraid to be alone.

New York is one of the largest cities in the world, which might make it one of the most lonely. Being okay with being alone is a trait only some can hold.

You keep life moving at a fast pace.

You want to do things, and you want them now. Like the queen Ariana Grande says, "I want it, I got it."

You are accepting of all people.

People are people, and everyone deserves the same love as one another, and if you're in a New York State of Mind, you know that.

You know that failure is not an option.

If you fail at something, you don't just quit and give up, you simply find a new, and better way to do that task.

You stay authentic to yourself.

You know who you are, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone. If they appreciate you and want you in their corner, they should make that clear to you.

You have a plan for everything.

You are prepared for whatever is it that is coming at you.

You know the sky isn't the limit, because you're reaching for the stars.

People will think you're crazy, or your dreams are too big. If you're in the right state of mind, you simply ignore them. There's no point in dwelling on other people's thoughts, when you know what you want.


Possessing these personality traits, shows that you are in fact in a New York State of Mind. If you are, you're a bad ass who knows who you are and what you want, and you'll get it, no matter what obstacles life throws your way.

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