If anyone knows who I am when they are reading this, they would know that I have had an interesting and rocky relationship with my father. When I was very, very young, my mom and dad got divorced, and my sister and I would live with our mother during the week and we would see our father during the weekends.
As my sister and I grew older, our time spent with our dad grew shorter because we viewed him as a penny-pinching narcissist who enjoyed doing projects around the house rather spending time with his children. We began to stray away from him, but he would "buy our love" with nice gifts and showed us in other ways that he cared, such as attending baseball games or band concerts. There was even one instance in my life that I wanted to do with very little with my dad because I thought he was the biggest jerk I have ever known. From my sophomore year of high school to the recent months, my relationship with my father has been a cycle of trust and betrayal.
In this past two months, I began to see again the man who I knew to be my father all of this time. As I was struggling in school, dealing with the fact that my mom was sick at the time, and as tension rose between my roommates and me, I felt dazed and confused. I did not know what to do. This past weekend, my father came with my stepmom to my fraternity's rechartering weekend. We had a long talk about a few things in life, and I began to see the same person that I looked up to when I was little.
Here is a man who had the power and capability to help his children in their hardships and would even walk up to bullies' parents and fight them if he could not find a way to compromise in a civilized manner. Here is the man who would after a long day of work, would take his children to the nearby swimming pool and playfully toss them in the pool and watch them swim up to him and ask cheerfully "again!" Here is the man who had almost nothing when he first started sobering up and now is the Managing Director of a large commercial real estate company. Here is the man who battled cancer three times and came out victorious. Here is the man who I can call "Dad."
To end my ode, I want to quickly mention a song that sort of resembles my relationship with my father. It is called "Life of a Salesman" by Yellowcard. When my relationship with him was unpleasant, I could not listen to the song without crying in shame that I did not have a dad like the one in the lyrics. Now, I still cry to this song, but not because I didn't love my father, but because I have and will always love him.
"When I am a dad, dad
I'm gonna be a good dad
Did the best you could, dad
Always understood, dad
Tell me I was right, dad
Opened up my eyes, dad
Proud to call you my, dad
Thank you for my life dad"
I love you, dad.
Read more: Yellowcard - Life Of A Salesman Lyrics | MetroLyrics
