As I’m writing this, I’m on a bus on my way to D.C. with the Alumni Memorial Scholars program. Part of my itinerary includes a lunch date with my parents, and I couldn’t be more excited to get a free meal that isn’t dining hall food. Jokes aside, I couldn’t be any more excited to be with them, even if just for a couple hours. Yet, at the same time, it’s a bittersweet reminder of my new reality. I have to VISIT my own parents. I’ve always bookmarked that action in my mind as what my parents do to see their parents. Yet, I find myself in the same position, and I’m only eighteen.

I had to go to college out of state. There was no way I was even going to consider a school in Maryland. Like so many high school seniors considering going to college, a priority for me was to gain newfound independence, and for me that meant being far away from home. I got my wish in being accepted to and enrolling at Colgate University. Yet, since I’ve been here, my perspective has changed drastically.

Looking back, I’m not sure why I thought being six hours away as opposed to say, two, would make a significant difference. It isn’t like my parents would’ve popped in randomly to check on me had I been four hours closer. It isn’t like I would’ve been any more dependent on them than I am now, six hours away. Now, I realize that the only thing I got when I chose the farther option was that even if I want to see my parents, I can’t. My dad can’t support me at track meets. I can’t run errands with my mom. Traveling home, not even for a weekend, but at holiday breaks is horribly inconvenient.

Don’t get me wrong--I love being at Colgate. Nevertheless, I’d sure love if someone would invent teleportation to minimize the effect of distance--an effect I certainly didn’t expect to be so difficult. As far as I know that isn’t going to happen in the near future, so I have to resign myself to the notion of being too far away to see my parents in person.

As a result, I call my parents far more often than I thought I would. I never realized how much I talked to them and shared with them until they weren’t seated in the family room, within earshot. It is less convenient, and nowhere near the same, but there’s extra effort behind calling, and my parents certainly deserve that. Furthermore, nobody is ever more excited to hear about either my accomplishments or what I had for dinner in the dining hall than my parents, and it’s invaluable to have a constant reminder that I matter so much that no detail is too small.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I don’t think that’s true at all. I think absence just makes you painfully aware of those things you were already fond of. I used to think it was childish to admit I miss my parents, but now I know I’ll never stop missing them. There, I said it. I miss my parents.

As our lunch date came to a close, I asked my dad what the plan was, and he said something along the lines of, “Mom and I are gonna go home. Kentucky plays at four and I gotta be there to watch the game.” In other words, life goes on. I know this as well as the next person, but what my mom and dad don’t know is that I nearly cried realizing they had to leave. In this case, knowing that life goes on didn’t make their leaving any easier. It made it harder.

It has become harder because I now know that every encounter with my parents from here on out is dictated unfavorably by time and space. Anyway, I gotta go study for my midterms. Life goes on.