My older sister is Pearl and her birthday was last week and, because of that, I have been looking at pictures and reminiscing on all of the time we have had together. I scrolled through those pictures going from present day to our younger years for potentially too long, and remembered our life together, which has been fairly inseparable. Anyone who knows either of us knows how similar we are and get mistaken as twins very often, to Pearl’s annoyance, because a lot of people say we look alike (although we’re not convinced), we sound alike (that we understand), and we have similar personalities.

Due to the fact that we have been so close our entire lives and her being the older of the two, I have been learning from her my entire life. These are just some of the most valuable lessons I have learned from her that I’m not sure she evens knows she taught me.

Study hard

When I came to Regis, people would ask me what my major was and when I replied with “I am majoring in biology with a pre-veterinary focus” if they knew either of my siblings who went here they would say “Oh, right, you’re a Lackner” or “You Lackners and your science brains.” Both of my siblings at Regis majored in neuroscience and psychology, and they didn’t do that by sitting around and partying all the time.

Pearl lead by example when she would call me worrying about one of the many tests or presentations she had, but always ended up doing well on them because she prepared herself so completely. It taught me that I couldn’t just sit around on my ass and expect to get good grades, that I really had to work at everything I did.

Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable doing but still have fun

Lots of movies in our culture depict college kids being pressured into going to parties and doing things they really don’t want to do. She bestowed the knowledge on me that I am my own person and do not have to do anything that I don’t want to; if all my friends are pressuring me to go to a party and drink and I have absolutely no desire to do that then I need to say no. But that does not mean stay in your comfort zone for the rest of your life -- take risks! Find the area between your comfort zone and your fears, then explore that area every once in a while.

Love with everything you have

Pearl and I are very similar in the sense that when we feel any emotion we feel it with an immortal vigor. But the one she showed me how to use the most is love. Love with more than just your mortal body, love with your soul. Love with the parts of you that will never die, that will never face away; if you do that one thing through your whole life then it will have meant something.

Don’t do anything half-assed

I still struggle with this one a little bit because I am a very laid back human. Doing everything, outside of school work, to the best of my abilities is sometimes not very easy for me to do; yet I always feel much more fulfilled when I put my heart and soul into doing something. This is my lesson from Pearl that is "in progress" for me.

Dress cute and feel confident

Anyone who knows Pearl knows that she always looks cute and confident. Before college, I was the girl who never got dressed up unless I absolutely had to, but always noticed that she got everyone’s attention and I always thought it was just because she had cute clothing on; but it wasn’t just because she had cute clothing on, it was because she felt confident in herself in whatever she was wearing. Only when I got to college did I realize that it actually makes a difference then I tried it out for myself, and found that I feel infinitely self-assured in everything I do when I think I look great.

Be involved

You could go through your whole college career without getting involved on campus, but Pearl enlightened me that doing that makes the experience incredibly boring. Whenever I visited her during school she was always doing things and saying "Hi" to people, and I was slightly envious of this. I realized it was partly because she is a much more sociable person than I am and partly due to working on campus every single year that she attended this university. Now I work in the same office that she did and she was absolutely correct, this makes being at college much more exciting and diverse. I don’t think I would have met a lot of the people I have if I had not decided to work on campus.

Family is the most important thing

As much as you want to kill them at least five times a day, they are the people who will always be there for you. Always be present when you are with family, because as much as you think they will always be there, they might not. Cherish the moments you have with them, and this is why I never have my phone around me when I am at home with my family. I want to be present when I am with family or people at school, because these moments are rare and we need to treasure them forever.

I could not be more grateful for having Pearl in my life, especially to this capacity. She is one of the most influential people in my life and I would not be the person I am (which would be terrible) without her being there every step of the way.

I love you Pearl and I can’t wait for the next phase of our lives together.