For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mother. While many people may read that and think that is a ‘normal’ desire for any woman, those same people would be very surprised to learn that this is not always the case. I am of the mindset that while many women have babies, that does not always necessarily make them a mother. Looking back on my childhood, there are many things that I wish my parents (specifically my mother) would have spent more time talking to me about or just spent more time on in general. I have accepted the fact that you can never go back, but I can fight my hardest to not make those same mistakes I feel affected me so much.
As a mother to a two-year-old and a soon-to-be mom again in December to another little boy, I can say with some certainty that raising boys is not the easiest task in the world. Realistically, raising children in today’s day and age is not easy. Period. What I did not realize when I became a parent was how utterly fulfilling the ‘little’ or ‘daily’ events or accomplishments can be. The first time my son was accurately able to explain his needs to me using words, I almost cried. The first time he was able to pull himself up and get into his car seat all on his own, I almost cried. The first time he said ‘thank you’ without me having to remind him, I definitely cried and thanked God that I could now count on a little helper to clean up! You get as much out of parenting as you are willing to put into it and I have come to see that there are many things that I want to put into parenting my sons.
Instilling a sense of strong responsibility, respect, and work ethic is an absolute necessity when it comes to raising my boys. Yes, they will always be my ‘little boys’ but they will not be viewed under that title by anyone else, let alone when they grow up. At 28-years-old, those three traits continue to be something that I work on today and I know that it will be a work in progress for them as well. I have promised myself that I will push them to look past what they feel is the minimum they can do in their lives and always look for the maximum. While it is true that this is likely any parent’s wish for their children, I feel like being able to convey this to my son’s will be a true achievement, personally.
Something that wasn’t always taught to me when I was younger was a sense of adventure or curiosity. Things were so regimented, always scheduled. I look back on my childhood and while I do not necessarily regret the different experiences I had (due to the fact that they shaped who I am today), I do feel as though I short-changed myself in many ways. I want more for my kids. I want them to not be afraid to take risks. I never want them to be afraid of WHO they are, regardless of whoever that person may be. If they want to join a bunch of sports teams, go for it! If they want to study abroad in college, stay safe! As long as they will never look back on those formative years and feel as though they did not do something because they were scared to, I will feel as though I have done my job as a parent.
The world today is a crazy place. I have no doubt that a generation ago, parents were probably thinking the same thing. It is so easy to lose your voice somewhere in the middle of all the craziness and chaos. That is one of the most important things I want my sons to understand and live by: no matter what is going on around you, never ever lose your voice because you feel as though what you have to say is any less important than anyone else. The lost voices of the world are a tragedy for all of humanity. While those around you may not necessarily agree with your voice, your voice is just as important as anyone else.
Ultimately, my children learning these lessons falls on me and, therefore, it is important for me to learn every one of these lessons. My oldest son came at a point in my life when I least expected it. I wasn’t ready for a child, but what I wanted didn't matter. As much as I had wanted children, I wasn’t sure I was quite ready. What I wanted didn’t matter, however. Before I knew it my son was here and before I know it my second son will be here. As I write, I look at my oldest son and feel my youngest son kick and all I can think of is how thankful I am to both of them, because without either of them, I may never have had the opportunity to continue to learn the lessons I will ultimately teach them. Parenting is not just about raising your children, it is about growing up in so many ways yourself.
