You can't control what happens to you in life, but what you can control is how you react to certain situations. When something bad happens to us it is easy to dwell on the negatives. If we dwell on the negatives, it just makes the situation that much worse and makes us more bitter about it. The best advice I have ever received was from my mom, and it is what we call the 10-90 rule. Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react it. Ever since my mom gave me this advice, it has just stuck and it is what I use to handle situations.
We cannot control the fact that bad things are going to happen to us in life. We are going to experience heartbreak, people letting us down, failing and we're going to make mistakes. When those things happen to you, do you sit there and dwell on how awful those things were that happened or do you say OK, yes, this sucks, but what can I do better next time? How can I make this situation better right now? What can I learn from this? It is obviously OK to be upset about bad situations, but after a little bit, you have to pick yourself up and figure out what you can do to make the situation better. Responding to a bad situation positively comes with positive results. If you're only focusing on the bad, you may not realize a new door that is being opened for you.
Life will never be perfect, but if we look for the good in all situations it will be that much better. Everything that happens to us teaches us something and brings us that much closer to our goal. If you constantly have a bad attitude about everything that didn't go exactly your way, you will never be able to find what good can come out of the situation. Even if we don't realize it at first, there's always good that can come out of a bad situation, and if there's not, at least it was a learning experience.
My other favorite quote that goes along with 10-90 is "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain." We have to do the best with what we have. No situation will ever be perfect, but if we can find the good in all situations life will be that much better. Focusing on what you can do with what you have brings out possibilities you probably wouldn't have thought of before. Good can come from any situation, just like dancing in the rain.
When you're having a bad day, just always remember 10-90. You can't control what happened but you can control how you react to it, and that says a lot about a person.
