With college graduation right around the corner, the reality of being done with school is starting to set in. Knowing that I won’t be starting another semester of school next fall is unsettling because school has been the focus of my life for the last 16 years. No more school means that I must start considering what my next step will be. Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I should be making plans, but neglecting to actually do so. Instead, I am just gliding through it all, hoping that the perfect plan will fall into my lap. Obviously, that really isn’t a viable option. If I don’t make a plan I will be watching everyone else glide through life while I flounder behind. Instead of finding my own path and my own success, I’ll be worried about what everyone else is doing to succeed. Sure, it is always interesting to watch and see who will have an exciting job, travel to interesting places, or have the best relationship. But it is dangerous to spend time comparing where you are in life to where other people are. Everyone is working towards their own goals; no one has the same destination.
Sometimes it feels like all we are doing is racing to the finish line. What is interesting though, is that this so-called finish line is different for everyone, and we forget that. Here we are, comparing ourselves to our friends and co-workers and all the people we interact with, but we are forgetting that everyone is working towards different goals. How can we compare ourselves to anyone else when we are all trying to achieve different things, and working to reach different finish lines? Maybe you want to hit the milestone of traveling to a certain number of countries by the time you are 30, whereas one of your good friends may be more interested in reaching an executive position within their company. Both are incredibly admirable goals, but it isn't healthy to think that one goal is better than another. There are a lot of people who would find one more appealing that the other, but that doesn’t make either wrong. It is incredibly easy to get caught up in doing what people expect us to do, and racing along with everyone else to achieve that. What is harder is finding what inspires us, and slowly starting to make our way towards that goal instead. Life isn’t a race, and the more we realize that, the easier it is to focus on our own goals.
Speaking of focusing on your own goals, I am often so caught up in my own journey and struggles that I forget that other people are dealing with their own. I’m not the only confused person out there, trying to figure out what their next step should be; but sometimes it feels like I am. But every now and then, people will open up about their ambitions and fears, and you realize that despite having different goals, most of us still feel lost in how to get there. Despite how much we may brag about that new job or how good our grades are or how awesome that last trip was, there are still struggles we don’t talk about. Remember that other people struggle as well, and that it is unfair to compare our inner struggle to successes other people choose to display. We are all working towards something, and it doesn’t help to compare how fast or how well we are getting there.
A lot of these realizations were brought to my attention after a recent conversation from someone that I admire. If you evaluated this person from the success shared on social media, or the good news shared in person, you would assume their life was a breeze. It appears as if everything is working out the way it is supposed to and as if there are no worries in sight. But once you dig a little deeper, you discover that they have their own worries and struggles as well. Despite how perfect people may appear on the outside, everyone is always facing an obstacle or another. All we can do is recognize this, and help them along their journey as well.
Life is not a competition, and we don’t have to always worry about one upping everyone else. Sometimes, all we need to do is focus our attention on a goal of ours, put our heads down, and start working towards it. It isn’t a race to see how fast you get there, and I think that realization would make everyone’s life a little bit easier.
