Dear 15 Year Old Me,

Hi Rachel, this is your 28-year-old self. You’ve gone through a lot so far in your life, and I know you wish there was some sort of handbook to navigate through life, but like anything, there isn’t. But I can tell you what you can expect in the coming 15 years:

You’re going to go through so many highs and so many lows (more lows than highs). You’re going to lose the one woman who means the world to you other than mom; you’re going to lose Grandma and you’re going to lose her quick, so cherish every memory and moment you’ve spent with her. You’re going to have your first really serious boyfriend and you’re going to fall so hard in love, you’d think it would smack you in the back of the head. You’re going to be together for a year and a half and you’re going to be devastated when you find out that he’s been cheating on you with another girl. You practically live at his house and you’re going to move your things out and spend a good chunk of time in your bed, doing the stereotypical girl thing; eating Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream and rant about how much you hate watching “Say Yes to the Dress”. You’re going to rebound with a guy named Andrew, only a few short months after Steven. You’re going to be with Andrew for another year and a half and then soon find out that he’s the worst boyfriend you’ll ever date. You’re going to go back to school (yet again—for the umpteenth time) and you’re going to major in Culinary Arts. You’re going to have your own awesome cupcake business and you’re going to bake your little behind off. You are so going to hate your baking teacher because, let me tell you, she’s terrible.

You’re going to meet a classmate that will pretty much change your life for the better; oh his name is Sal. You might be thinking why Sal is going to change your life and I’m going to tell you; He’s going to talk NON STOP about this internship that he just came back from doing in Florida called “The Disney College Program”. You’re going to look at anything and everything about this program and you’re going to apply on a total whim because it’s not you if you just don’t jump in with two feet. You’re going to sit at your computer every evening for the next month and a half after you pass your web and phone interview, wondering why you haven’t heard anything back but everyone else has. You’re going to go back to school 4 days after Thanksgiving, only to find an email from Disney saying that you’re moving down to Orlando, Florida right after the New Year. You’re going to blame Sal for this but you’re going to thank him for not shutting up about his program. Fast forward to January and you’re starting to pack your things, hand in your two week’s notice at Shoprite and you’re going to be on your way to begin this nerve wracking and highly confusing and frustrating time in your life.

WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD!

You’re going to love your time at Disney but you’re going to hate your job until you start working at the Magic Kingdom, which is the one place you’ve always wanted to work at since you were six years old on vacation with mom and dad. You’re going to have a falling out with your parents, and Andrew is going to break your heart. You’ll mourn and your depression will kick in from time to time, but it’s nothing you can’t handle because you’ve been doing such a good job at dealing with it. You’re going to party you’re butt off and you’re going to break all your own morals, but if you don’t experience these things, then you’re not living. Mom is going to visit you for your birthday and you’re going to sink into the biggest depression because you miss her and haven’t seen her in six months. But it’s ok, you’ll snap out of it. You’ll spend three magical days with mom and snuggle her and get her breakfast every morning and show her your “town.” After mom leave, you’re going to see a batch of new arrivals come into your housing complex. You’re going to smoke your cigarette (and you will kick that bad habit by the way. It won’t last long) and you’re going to be on the phone and mumble some curse word because you’re so grumpy going to work for the night.

You’re going to meet one of those new arrivals who is going to turn your world upside down and show you the meaning of true love. His name also happens to be Andrew and he’s from North Carolina. This Andrew is going to be different from the rest. He’s going to show you what true love is, what it’s like to be treated like a lady, and show you the utmost respect that you’ll ever get. You’ll both fall madly in love with each other and spend every waking moment together; resort hopping, dancing in Downtown Disney, park hopping, photos to document every moment together. It’s going to be the grandest love you’ll ever have. In August, you’re going to lose your best friend in the entire world. You’re going to lose Bryan. You’re going to collapse, cry, scream, curse, everything because he’s been one of your biggest supporters of you being on the program. You’re going to want to go home but no one wants you there because they know that if you leave Florida, you won’t go back. You’ll blame yourself for everything and look at all his text messages and photos. You’re going to be hurting every single day. You and Andrew are going to spend all the holidays together, with him trying to get your mind off everything.

You’ll share books together, sleep in a tiny bed together, take care of each other when you’re too drunk to function and you’re going to cook together. I know that’s something you’ll love. You were supposed to be at Disney for six months, but you extend into a full year. Dad’s going to come and pick you up and take you home in January and then you’ll start your long distance relationship with Andrew. You should be used to those by now because you’re used to doing them with John and Steve but this is going to really test your relationship. You have everyone’s support and you can’t wait to spend the rest of your lives together.

Hate to say it girl, but that’s all going to come to a big halt, two and a half years into the relationship. He’s going to shatter your heart and you’re going to find it nearly impossible to move on. You’ll spend the next two birthdays getting your foot wet in the dating pool but coming up empty handed. You’re going to have a lot of arguments and fights with mom and you’re going to have it rough but you’ll get yourself together in the end. By the time your 28th birthday comes around, you’ll be going into your third semester in college (again…for the umpteenth time. But this time you’re going to major in Nursing) and talking to some guy. You’re going to keep all your friendships from Disney and you’re going to keep them close. You’re going to want to travel, and by this time, you’ll have a few trips to Florida under your belt including an upcoming one with Sean in November. You’re going to experience life and you’re going to hate it but you’ll love it at the same time.

It’s time to end this girl. Just remember the struggle is always going to be there, but it’s up to you to break through it.

You got this. Viva la Vida!

Love,
Me
xoxo