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Politics and Activism

My Life Through The Eyes of My NSA Issued Microwave

“There was an article that week that talked about how you can surveil people through their phones, through their—certainly through their television sets, any number of different ways. And microwaves that turn into cameras, etc." - Kellyanne Conway

Jasminne Herrera

Mar 20, 2017

Kennesaw State University

My Life Through The Eyes of My NSA Issued Microwave

March 5, 2017

Jasminne, once again, did not check the specific amount of time she was supposed to microwave her popcorn for. This wouldn't be such a bad deal, except is was 3:30 p.m., meaning she has absolutely nowhere to be, and therefore, had all the time in the world to read the instructions. I, now, smell of burnt popcorn.

March 7, 2017

It was 12:45 a.m. and Jasminne thought she ate her entire fridge. In between commercial breaks, she thought she could reheat leftover spaghettis and three day old pizza. She failed miserably. Instead, she managed to drop her bowl of spaghetti on the floor.

March 8, 2017

What was that weird dance she was doing? It looked almost like she sneezed repeatedly without stopping. Is that normal? 'Dabbing' when the frozen chicken nuggets are done to absolutely no music whatsoever.

March 11, 2017

It has only been six days and she has already had another popcorn conundrum.

March 13, 2017

It seems as if my cover has been blown. Today, she opened my door and stuck her head inside. "I MISS YOU, OBAMA." Yes, Jasminne, I miss him too.

March 17, 2017

I'm a complete mess. Jasminne hasn't cleaned me since February 27. I'm starting to think she is avoiding me altogether. I can tell. Today, she ate cold, old pizza.

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My Life Through The Eyes of My NSA Issued Microwave

“There was an article that week that talked about how you can surveil people through their phones, through their—certainly through their television sets, any number of different ways. And microwaves that turn into cameras, etc." - Kellyanne Conway

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I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

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Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

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The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

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Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

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