The definition of "hopeless romantic" is: an expression describing a person who has romantic notions about life.
The definition of "cynical" is: distrustful of human sincerity or integrity.
Perhaps I was trained to be cynical. It's a hard life being a romantic in a world of hook-up culture. However, there are so many struggles that go along with this paradox. You believe in love, yet you doubt that it exists for you. The idea of "true love" sounds nice, but it isn't practical. Your brain and your heart are at a constant battle. With the famous words, the struggle is real.
1. You're a sucker for romantic comedies, but at the same time they make you want to puke.
"The Notebook"? You love it and you hate it. It's a beautiful story, but in the back of your mind you know that love doesn't ever happen like that. Even though you are indifferent to rom-coms, you still find yourself craving a little Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams from time to time.
2. When you have a crush on someone, you do nothing and admire them from afar.
Having crushes is something no human can avoid, as much as you wish you could. Upon realization that you have a crush on someone, a wave of panic travels through your body. Crushes are dangerous to you. He/she could get a girlfriend or boyfriend. You subject yourself to rejection. Or they could like you back, and you get into a relationship that will eventually crash and burn, and the cycle will continue. All in all, it's a reason to suppress your feelings until the crush subsides.
3. You're already planning your divorce.
Marriage is something you definitely want to experience. The idea of spending the rest of your life with someone is a beautiful concept to you. However, it doesn't seem realistic. There's this doubt in your mind that you will make it 'til death do us part. You have a hope that you will find someone, marry them and be together forever. Yet, statistics tell a different story. It's just a matter of ignoring statistics or your own desires.
While love comes around once every blue moon, you believe it will happen. There is always a question on whether it will last. The fight within you continues to be a daily struggle. But you never lose faith on finding that someone. You simply do not wait around for it to show up.
