It's time to find myself again. For quiet some time, I have been on this roller coaster of not knowing who I am to knowing who I am, to having a plan to not having a plan. It is going to be hard because in the state that I am currently am in now, I don't like it and am very uncomfortable. It's time to make some changes and I'm starting now.
This week has been complete hell but very rewarding at the same time. After a week of Vacation Bible School, work and an ended relationship, I am emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally exhausted. I was rewarding to watch my preschool kids growth at VBS because it has shown me that even though I have been saved since I was eight years old, I still have a childlike faith that is just yearning to learn more. My faith has faltered because I have lost sight of what has mattered most. I believe that God tends to shake up our lives to remind us where we came from. In my own stubborn ways, I have failed to listen to my head and not my heart which got me into situations I shouldn't have been in.
What I am trying to say is that life is rough but God is always faithful. If you have ever been in a situation where you just flat out do not know what to do and you keep failing, God is trying to tell you something that you need to hear. I don't know your stories or what is happening in your life at the moment, but know you're not alone. If you're on the edge of a full mental breakdown, stop and pray. Taking those moments to breathe and be reminded of who you are and who you serve, it makes the task easier to handle.
I found this quote from Brittany Moses that I find very fitting for my circumstances and possibly for others.
"Many times when God isn't changing your circumstances He's mostly concerned with changing YOU within the circumstance. Your character, your inner strength, your integrity matters to Him because they are everlasting qualities. The wisdom, the strength and maturity that grows within you are all going to need to sustain the calling God has on your life. Know that there is a purpose in your pain."
I love this quote because even though my circumstances have changed, I am in pain but know that there is a purpose within the pain makes the pain not hurt as bad. Knowing that my strength, integrity and character doesn't go unnoticed by Him and he continues to sow on those qualities daily. Change is never easy but in the end it is worth every trial and tribulation. It's time for a change to grow and learn who I am again only because as long as I know who I serve, I will always know who I am.
"I know who I am, I know who I serve, I know where I am going" - Jon Randles
