Whenever my boyfriend and I go out for a bite or grab a drink and a server or bartender apologizes profusely for being in the weeds or for being out of stock of a beer, my immediate response is, “I get it. I’m in the industry.” It always elicits an eye roll or light teasing from him. It's now become a harmless, running joke between us. But if one was to ask anyone in the service industry, I bet you 9 out of 10 times they’ve been asked, “So… when are you going to get a real job?” Some people just don't get it; this isn't a game for anyone. It's called the service industry for a reason, and it has served me well.

I attended a private school in Dallas. It was academically rigorous, competitive and the idea of continuing on to college was not seen as an option, but rather an expectation. So, like the rest of my class, I headed to university following graduation. However, throughout my freshman year of college, I found myself lost, lonely and depressed. After months of lying to my family and friends about how great of a time I was having, I finally broke down during my return home for spring break. I told my parents I could not return in the fall. While I was relieved my parents were supportive of my decision, I couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with me -- all I’ve ever heard is that college is the best four years of your life. So why was I so miserable?

I spent months moping around my parents’ house doing nothing. While I may have been emotionally torn at school, at least I was productive. It was clear that I needed to do something, so I checked Craigslist and saw that the Irish pub around the corner from me was hiring a cocktail server. After mustering up all the courage I could, I walked in, filled out an application and after an interview I was positive I bombed. I somehow got the job.

I was a painfully shy, socially (and physically) awkward 19-year-old with the same amount of self-confidence as service industry experience -- none. Looking back, I am still baffled by my choice in choosing a job that requires one to be able to talk to strangers. But to this day, it remains the best decision I've ever made. I’ve learned how to communicate, to work as a team and to think on my feet. I’ve become more efficient, patient and tolerant. Above all, I’ve learned to respect myself.

As much as my job raised my self-esteem, a part of me was ashamed. When my high school friends returned home from breaks, I made up excuses to avoid seeing them. I assumed they all thought I was a loser, a lost cause, beneath them. While the few friends with whom I remained in contact often told me how amazing it was that I was a “real grown up”—working full-time, paying for and renting my own apartment, how they could never imagine doing that themselves—whether or not they meant it, I just saw it as pity disguised as praise.

But as time passed, those thoughts vanished. A lot of people cite college as the place where they find themselves. That’s what the service industry has done for me. I’ve worked numerous places during the past five years -- from dives to fine dining, on the floor and behind the bar. The service industry is unlike any other occupational industry. It’s like a fraternity for the kinds of people who wouldn’t step foot in a frat house. Your co-workers become some of your closest friends and confidants. The title to this piece is a reference to the Life Behind Bars Facebook group, with over 13,000 members nation-wide it is the “ultimate social media forum for bartenders, waiters, cocktail servers and other service industry workers. Members of the group interact with one another through sharing stories, jokes, ideas, drink recipes, issues, complaints and much more, all related to life in the service industry. Its mission is simple…to unite the service industry, one story at a time."

It’s been a little over five years since I walked into that Irish pub and I’m back there once again. Only this time I’m confident, well-adjusted and happy. Now I’m back in school working on my BA in Communications. I spent the majority of my life thinking there was only one path, that going to college and receiving my degree in the four years directly after high school was what I was supposed to do. But there isn’t one path.

For those of you who have experienced pressure to follow one path, whether by your parents, your school or your peers, my advice to you is to take a step back. Figure out what path is best for you. Dropping out after my freshman year and taking a job as a server was what I was supposed to do. I attribute my current academic, personal and social success to my life behind bars.