What It's Like Being A Female Veteran In America | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

I Am A Female Veteran, Stop Assuming I'm 'The Spouse'

No, I am not a spouse who thinks she's entitled to a veteran parking spot.

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I Am A Female Veteran, Stop Assuming I'm 'The Spouse'

Since I was roughly 18, I've had to deal with people assuming me to be about five or six years younger than I actually am. Is that going to help me when I'm older? Frick YES! But for now, at the ripe old age of 22, it makes buying wine some of the awkwardest moments of my life.

I don't mind being questioned about my age. However, I do mind being questioned about my service.

I joined the U.S. Navy at 17 years old, left home at 18 and received my DD-214 at 22. I served in Lemoore, CA in two squadrons, VFA-122 and VFA-151. I left home, ran away from life as I knew it and started a new chapter. Serving brings a lot of confusing emotions. You know deep down so many brothers and sisters are by your side but feel so small in a town full of civilians who have no idea what you're going through, emotionally and sometimes physically. At 22, I've experienced things no one should, and now have some of the best stories in my college classes.

But in this country, female veterans still don't receive the same respect that their male counterparts do.

My boyfriend and I were flying from Illinois to Florida and on our first flight on this tiny little puddle jumper, he was upgraded to first-class due to him being a service member. Now, mind you, I was still active-duty. We both had our DOD ID numbers in the system in order to receive free TSA pre-check. It also lets the system know you are active, and normally those few numbers can score you some amazing upgrades.

He got first-class.

I got "I'm sorry, ma'am, but it's only for active duty. Not for spouses."

What?

Fun fact, we're not even married. We're still dating. I have been assumed to just be "the spouse" and so have many of my sisters in the service. Honestly, it's a little unsettling and unfair to those women who have decided to put their life on the line and leave their families. Many women I served with are mothers, wives, girlfriends, sisters, so on. They put the safety of this country first, and their families second. These women all have similar stories of being "just a spouse."

We may become spouses of service members at some point, but for now, we are veterans — just like our brothers.

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