What It's Like Being A Female Veteran In America
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

I Am A Female Veteran, Stop Assuming I'm 'The Spouse'

No, I am not a spouse who thinks she's entitled to a veteran parking spot.

325
I Am A Female Veteran, Stop Assuming I'm 'The Spouse'

Since I was roughly 18, I've had to deal with people assuming me to be about five or six years younger than I actually am. Is that going to help me when I'm older? Frick YES! But for now, at the ripe old age of 22, it makes buying wine some of the awkwardest moments of my life.

I don't mind being questioned about my age. However, I do mind being questioned about my service.

I joined the U.S. Navy at 17 years old, left home at 18 and received my DD-214 at 22. I served in Lemoore, CA in two squadrons, VFA-122 and VFA-151. I left home, ran away from life as I knew it and started a new chapter. Serving brings a lot of confusing emotions. You know deep down so many brothers and sisters are by your side but feel so small in a town full of civilians who have no idea what you're going through, emotionally and sometimes physically. At 22, I've experienced things no one should, and now have some of the best stories in my college classes.

But in this country, female veterans still don't receive the same respect that their male counterparts do.

My boyfriend and I were flying from Illinois to Florida and on our first flight on this tiny little puddle jumper, he was upgraded to first-class due to him being a service member. Now, mind you, I was still active-duty. We both had our DOD ID numbers in the system in order to receive free TSA pre-check. It also lets the system know you are active, and normally those few numbers can score you some amazing upgrades.

He got first-class.

I got "I'm sorry, ma'am, but it's only for active duty. Not for spouses."

What?

Fun fact, we're not even married. We're still dating. I have been assumed to just be "the spouse" and so have many of my sisters in the service. Honestly, it's a little unsettling and unfair to those women who have decided to put their life on the line and leave their families. Many women I served with are mothers, wives, girlfriends, sisters, so on. They put the safety of this country first, and their families second. These women all have similar stories of being "just a spouse."

We may become spouses of service members at some point, but for now, we are veterans — just like our brothers.

Report this Content
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

85338
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

51312
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments